Blah. Nothing like the tiny disappointments in life to bring you down like a ton of bricks. Like a 7-hour wait for a movie, only to find the license on it expired at some point during your download, so it says (in snooty French John Cleese voice) "download it again, so I can fuck you over a second time!"
And then, my set actually has spent just about 24 hours completely unnoticed in the SB group. The first one that I'm actually proud of. Even my incredibly retarded first one didn't sit like a shadow in a cave like this one is. Maybe over the next few days, someone will go "hmm." and click on it. But I figure the first 24 hours can be crucial, because it won't take very long for others to upload their sets, and the whole damn work I put into it will go to waste.
What's worse is I don't get proud of things very often. I usually don't invest too much of myself into anything I do, because I usually am afraid of going out on the other side of the experience and feeling ripped off and slightly more useless.
It's pretty bad when you click through the away messages on your buddy list, and most of them pertain to getting laid. I'd use this celibate period to write music, but Rivers Cuomo did that and the world ended up with Make Believe. So let's not go down that dark path...
Somehow, I wish there was more going on in my life than there is, and I wish it was easier to hold onto money. There's always some bill I'm being stuck paying, and at the rate it's going, raising the couple grand I want for Boston is going to be incredibly difficult. Especially since if I don't want to spend anything except what's needed for bills from my account, then I have to live off $70-$80 a week. Being 20 and as media-focused as I am means that's a nigh-impossibility, and when you add in my nicotine addiction -- it generally means that I'm fucked when it comes to that plan.
I don't feel better when I'm fucking around
And I don't write better when I'm stuck in the ground
So don't teach me lessons
'Cuz I've already learned
The sun will be shining
and my spirit will burn
yes, the heart beats in it's cage
I'm beginning to reconsider the choice of that song as the second single off First Impressions of Earth. Whereas originally I was thinking it should've been "Razorblade" or "You Only Live Once", maybe even "Electricityscape", this one seems easier to deal with on each listen.
Don't you hate it when even the saddest songs in your collection are still too cheerful for you to listen to?
The closest I got? "The Absence of God" by Rilo Kiley. Which, to be honest, is quite a sad, beautiful song. But it isn't quite what my heart needs right now.
Now to quit rambling, finish off my pack of cigarettes, and wonder if I can make it the next two days without a cancer stick.
And then, my set actually has spent just about 24 hours completely unnoticed in the SB group. The first one that I'm actually proud of. Even my incredibly retarded first one didn't sit like a shadow in a cave like this one is. Maybe over the next few days, someone will go "hmm." and click on it. But I figure the first 24 hours can be crucial, because it won't take very long for others to upload their sets, and the whole damn work I put into it will go to waste.
What's worse is I don't get proud of things very often. I usually don't invest too much of myself into anything I do, because I usually am afraid of going out on the other side of the experience and feeling ripped off and slightly more useless.
It's pretty bad when you click through the away messages on your buddy list, and most of them pertain to getting laid. I'd use this celibate period to write music, but Rivers Cuomo did that and the world ended up with Make Believe. So let's not go down that dark path...
Somehow, I wish there was more going on in my life than there is, and I wish it was easier to hold onto money. There's always some bill I'm being stuck paying, and at the rate it's going, raising the couple grand I want for Boston is going to be incredibly difficult. Especially since if I don't want to spend anything except what's needed for bills from my account, then I have to live off $70-$80 a week. Being 20 and as media-focused as I am means that's a nigh-impossibility, and when you add in my nicotine addiction -- it generally means that I'm fucked when it comes to that plan.
I don't feel better when I'm fucking around
And I don't write better when I'm stuck in the ground
So don't teach me lessons
'Cuz I've already learned
The sun will be shining
and my spirit will burn
yes, the heart beats in it's cage
I'm beginning to reconsider the choice of that song as the second single off First Impressions of Earth. Whereas originally I was thinking it should've been "Razorblade" or "You Only Live Once", maybe even "Electricityscape", this one seems easier to deal with on each listen.
Don't you hate it when even the saddest songs in your collection are still too cheerful for you to listen to?
The closest I got? "The Absence of God" by Rilo Kiley. Which, to be honest, is quite a sad, beautiful song. But it isn't quite what my heart needs right now.
Now to quit rambling, finish off my pack of cigarettes, and wonder if I can make it the next two days without a cancer stick.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Ok going to check out set now.....