So... While I don't subscribe to the commercial fiasco that is "Valentine's Day", it seems like a fitting time to unleash the maelstrom of thought I've been undergoing lately. And yes, Pinkie, you better get out that coin purse
So... Love. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love. Where to begin on this Rubik's Cube reminiscent topic. The trials, tribulations, and everything in between. My soundtrack right now is Nirvana Unplugged Live in New York. Playing through. About A Girl, right now. Doing this on my phone too. So it's slower than normal. Love this album. I've been keeping normal blogs lately, not dwelling on anything. Believe it or not, it works! Quite well This past week has been different. Just... different. Come As You Are. But that's not really the point of this blog. Back to the topic at hand.
I'm not really sure how to go about this. I suppose it will just, basically, give my thoughts on the phenomenon at hand. Insomnia be a harsh mistress, especially on nights like these. Mayhap I'll stumble upon a profound revelation, trudging through the dreamless swamp this night. It's a slim chance, but meh. You never know. What is love, and why is it so sought after. Jesus Doesn't Want Me For a Sunbeam. How do people see it, and how do they seize it. I haven't a fuckin' clue, but I'm going to think/blog my way through the quagmire of human desire. Maybe desire is the wrong word. Desire implies a physical attraction. Maybe yearning is a more appropriate term... Bah, mere semantics. I firmly believe that love is important for everyone. Every single person. Whether they like to admit it or not, love is important. The Man Who Sold the World. Superficial relationships can't be all there is to this world.
I must have died alone, a long, long time ago. There has to be more to our finite time on this spinning, water-logged rock, than loneliness and simple, physical pleasure. Pennyroyal Tea. I suppose I'm one of those romantics you hear so much about. You know all that idiotic crap; random tiny presents, hand-scribbled notes, pointless animal stickers. Someone to hug during winter. Dumb. I'm not coming at this from a self-pity, whiny perspective, haha, not this time anyway, angle. I'm trying to sift the lumps out of my flour of thought. Polly. Love is...? What is love. A simple chemical reaction in the brain? The perfect balance of seratonine? Biologically, yes. But it's more than that. The psychological state accompanying it is unparalleled. Or so I've been led to believe.
My parents have been happily married for over twenty years. On A Plain. Maybe that's where I've come up with the picture of being in love as my version of happiness. In fact I'm almost sure of it. I've only really figured this out recently. After long, long deliberation, I came to this conclusion. Having people I can love. Who love me back. Where's the good in success without something like that? Something In the Way. That's why I dropped out. To dive headfirst into this pursuit. Priorities, mon ami, to quote Bartleby from Dogma. The mon ami bit, I mean. Plateau. To be honest, I don't believe in the myth of true love, or a destined soulmate. You make the best you can out of the life you've got. Some people find a perfect person to love. The closest to perfection that two people can be, in terms of compatibility, anyway. Oh Me. Maybe they'll be happy forever, but life isn't perfect. In fact, most of the time it's shit.
These people are few, and far between, and they never really understand the real depths of the human condition. Lake of Fire. Lucky for them. The less you wade through that cesspool the better. Is love the saviour some people need? The rope around the waist of Indy when he's sinking in quicksand? All Apologies. I think so. I know it's naive to pile the hopes and ambitions of finding that important a person up so high. And, if I'm totally honest, I don't think it's going to happen. I'll keep my eyes open, but I don't think it's waiting around any corners within view. But hey, I'm getting better, regardless. Where Did You Sleep Last Night. Maybe it's not the be-all and end-all. Sure it would be fantastic, to find a romantic partner. An equal in every aspect. No pretence. No bullshit. Maybe romance isn't a necessary part of that. Can platonomy fulfil the same criteria? Rhetorical of course...
Very few people are genuinely happy. Aw... End of album. Picking a new one. 3:03.
...The following afternoon...
It's just gone 8pm now. I've survived the day. Sort of. The spectre still lingers. I need something to take my mind off it now. I've avoided the internet all day, just to make it that bit easier. Not that it's actually worked or anything. I suppose another random musing I might have on this topic is the individual perception of what love means to a specific person. Obviously everyone is different, and everyone has a different way of thinking about everything. Gah, my brain's frazzled today. Too much thinking. Dwelling. Another eventless year. Maybe I'll turn it around for next year, who knows...
I thought I'd have more words on this topic, but it's not coming to me. It's been a cold day. Colder than usual.
So... Love. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love. Where to begin on this Rubik's Cube reminiscent topic. The trials, tribulations, and everything in between. My soundtrack right now is Nirvana Unplugged Live in New York. Playing through. About A Girl, right now. Doing this on my phone too. So it's slower than normal. Love this album. I've been keeping normal blogs lately, not dwelling on anything. Believe it or not, it works! Quite well This past week has been different. Just... different. Come As You Are. But that's not really the point of this blog. Back to the topic at hand.
I'm not really sure how to go about this. I suppose it will just, basically, give my thoughts on the phenomenon at hand. Insomnia be a harsh mistress, especially on nights like these. Mayhap I'll stumble upon a profound revelation, trudging through the dreamless swamp this night. It's a slim chance, but meh. You never know. What is love, and why is it so sought after. Jesus Doesn't Want Me For a Sunbeam. How do people see it, and how do they seize it. I haven't a fuckin' clue, but I'm going to think/blog my way through the quagmire of human desire. Maybe desire is the wrong word. Desire implies a physical attraction. Maybe yearning is a more appropriate term... Bah, mere semantics. I firmly believe that love is important for everyone. Every single person. Whether they like to admit it or not, love is important. The Man Who Sold the World. Superficial relationships can't be all there is to this world.
I must have died alone, a long, long time ago. There has to be more to our finite time on this spinning, water-logged rock, than loneliness and simple, physical pleasure. Pennyroyal Tea. I suppose I'm one of those romantics you hear so much about. You know all that idiotic crap; random tiny presents, hand-scribbled notes, pointless animal stickers. Someone to hug during winter. Dumb. I'm not coming at this from a self-pity, whiny perspective, haha, not this time anyway, angle. I'm trying to sift the lumps out of my flour of thought. Polly. Love is...? What is love. A simple chemical reaction in the brain? The perfect balance of seratonine? Biologically, yes. But it's more than that. The psychological state accompanying it is unparalleled. Or so I've been led to believe.
My parents have been happily married for over twenty years. On A Plain. Maybe that's where I've come up with the picture of being in love as my version of happiness. In fact I'm almost sure of it. I've only really figured this out recently. After long, long deliberation, I came to this conclusion. Having people I can love. Who love me back. Where's the good in success without something like that? Something In the Way. That's why I dropped out. To dive headfirst into this pursuit. Priorities, mon ami, to quote Bartleby from Dogma. The mon ami bit, I mean. Plateau. To be honest, I don't believe in the myth of true love, or a destined soulmate. You make the best you can out of the life you've got. Some people find a perfect person to love. The closest to perfection that two people can be, in terms of compatibility, anyway. Oh Me. Maybe they'll be happy forever, but life isn't perfect. In fact, most of the time it's shit.
These people are few, and far between, and they never really understand the real depths of the human condition. Lake of Fire. Lucky for them. The less you wade through that cesspool the better. Is love the saviour some people need? The rope around the waist of Indy when he's sinking in quicksand? All Apologies. I think so. I know it's naive to pile the hopes and ambitions of finding that important a person up so high. And, if I'm totally honest, I don't think it's going to happen. I'll keep my eyes open, but I don't think it's waiting around any corners within view. But hey, I'm getting better, regardless. Where Did You Sleep Last Night. Maybe it's not the be-all and end-all. Sure it would be fantastic, to find a romantic partner. An equal in every aspect. No pretence. No bullshit. Maybe romance isn't a necessary part of that. Can platonomy fulfil the same criteria? Rhetorical of course...
Very few people are genuinely happy. Aw... End of album. Picking a new one. 3:03.
...The following afternoon...
It's just gone 8pm now. I've survived the day. Sort of. The spectre still lingers. I need something to take my mind off it now. I've avoided the internet all day, just to make it that bit easier. Not that it's actually worked or anything. I suppose another random musing I might have on this topic is the individual perception of what love means to a specific person. Obviously everyone is different, and everyone has a different way of thinking about everything. Gah, my brain's frazzled today. Too much thinking. Dwelling. Another eventless year. Maybe I'll turn it around for next year, who knows...
I thought I'd have more words on this topic, but it's not coming to me. It's been a cold day. Colder than usual.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
xylah:
I got your letter and stuff yesterday! thank you! Writing back soon!
ifyoushowmeyours:
thankssss!