I wish my room would just clean itself... I know everyone wishes that, but today especially it seems unsually unbearable. I've been sort of down today, I really don't know why. I guess when you feel shitty, everything around seems shitty too - like my room. It feels like a tomb. I have to go to work soon, and I really don't want to at all. Mother's Day. The restaurant is probably going to be packed. I hate being fake and smiley and telling people "I'm doing great!" because it puts tips on the tables. I wish I could just say- "yeah, I feel like shit, and I wish you wouldn't talk to me!" My friend Natalie's birthday was last night and I didn't go. Maybe that's why I feel so bad today. Maybe it's guilt. I have flaked on her so much, and it was her fucking birthday! I didn't even bother to go. What is wrong with me? Why can't I be more social and act like a normal person? Being alone is always good. I'm always more comfortable with myself than with anyone else. I enjoy my own company and am not afraid of solitude. But ... sometimes I feel like it affects other people around me and for that i am truly sorry
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estrada:
Being social when you do not want to is often inviting trouble.
katie_:
I also understand the feeling on solitude...though it's much more healthy IMO to enjoy your own company than to constantly have to be in the company of others. BTW, thanks for the welcome and lurker support