i am ready to drop off the face of the earth. everything around me is bland and grey and repetative. get up. go to work. come home. sit at computer. go to sleep. get up... i feel emotionally and physically drained even though i have done nothing! i am tired of people backstabbing me and evil landlords and being poor. why can't i have more friends? why can't i be more out going and interesting? why can't i posses that alluring magic that draws people towards me? that makes people want to know who i am... what i dream about... what my fears are... i feel really alone and day after day i sit alone... in a coffee house... on the bus... wandering the streets of downtown. make it stop. just make it all stop. please? damn, i want a cigarette...
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i was thinkin about it, they should make a movie about a ppl watcher. i saw ppl today and it made me wonder with all these couples, do they really think they are soulmates? i mean really what makes them want to be a couple? so many ppl dont match at all. are they that desperate that they will accept the other person? i think that we make soulmates. if you are with someone so long that you are 'connected' in the ways you go about life, then they feel like a soulmate, i thought i met a soulmate, but i realize now that i could never please her cause it was like a psuedosoulmate. anyway. thanks for being you. you are cool. i soo want to go back to the pac nw. i am movin to ft lewis after korea.