welcome back to the rabbit hole!
i haven't stopped drinking but i've cut down drasticly, not by choice more by finances. ( oh and i haven't been high in weeks) i can't stop moving, if i try to sit still i go mad because inside my brain everything is moving so fast. nothing can occupie my time.
i wind up doing alot of thinking, fast...
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i haven't stopped drinking but i've cut down drasticly, not by choice more by finances. ( oh and i haven't been high in weeks) i can't stop moving, if i try to sit still i go mad because inside my brain everything is moving so fast. nothing can occupie my time.
i wind up doing alot of thinking, fast...
Read More
well i'm am feeling a million percent better. nothing phases you when you don't really give a shit. the problem is that i' m not allowed to do shit at work so i am BORED.
this week is when i start my treatment, and going to appointments so at least i'll have that to occupie my time.
BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
with boredom theres no...
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this week is when i start my treatment, and going to appointments so at least i'll have that to occupie my time.
BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
with boredom theres no...
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i talked to "that gurl" and told her to stop calling. she said that she had feelings for me, and i have definent feelings for her but that's not enough.
i won't surcumb to "their" standards and fall in love.
i'm not even sure how to esplain it, it's just in my nature to be alone, yes i want some kind of human contact but...
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i won't surcumb to "their" standards and fall in love.
i'm not even sure how to esplain it, it's just in my nature to be alone, yes i want some kind of human contact but...
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delancey:
Hey there and thanks for the friend request! Sorry about the issues with the girl, there are more out there and better than JB
We all go through times where we miss sleeping next to people.
"Tattoos that would make any mother proud."
My mom told me I had a beautiful body that she could not look at it with my tattoos.
Take care.
xoxo
We all go through times where we miss sleeping next to people.
"Tattoos that would make any mother proud."
My mom told me I had a beautiful body that she could not look at it with my tattoos.
Take care.
xoxo
i called the ONE gurl that i needed to tell and she was surprised and so forte but i don't think that she grasps the reality of the situation. i havn;t talked to her in a few weeksbecause well, it's for the best. but she insisted on talking aboiut "us" and there is no us so i let her go.
how can you be so...
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how can you be so...
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tatian:
i don't judge you.
no one should judge you.
it is no one's place to judge...
I am sorry.
SO SO sorry...
but getting high is not everything... it just isn't... u have to BELIEVE that.
BELIEVE it...
getting high just takes you away from this (fucked up) reality... but it's momentary...
life can be a beautiful thing...
and sometimes it's fucked up and shitty...
BUT... w/o the fucked, up shitty stuff, no one would have ANY appreciation for the semi-decent GOOD shit in life...
SOrry hun...
you can still live a healthy life! this is not the end...
XOxo
XOxo
(read the comment on the other blog)
no one should judge you.
it is no one's place to judge...
I am sorry.
SO SO sorry...
but getting high is not everything... it just isn't... u have to BELIEVE that.
BELIEVE it...
getting high just takes you away from this (fucked up) reality... but it's momentary...
life can be a beautiful thing...
and sometimes it's fucked up and shitty...
BUT... w/o the fucked, up shitty stuff, no one would have ANY appreciation for the semi-decent GOOD shit in life...
SOrry hun...
you can still live a healthy life! this is not the end...
XOxo
XOxo
(read the comment on the other blog)
plain and simple, i've have hepetites c. i got it from some friends. i have lived life as fast and hard as i could and it caught up with me. that's the second life altering/threatening disease that i've picked up while in the military.
i didn't think that it would bother me that much but i geuss it does. when i came back from getting...
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i didn't think that it would bother me that much but i geuss it does. when i came back from getting...
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tatian:
now i am REALLY sorry.
I have been so damn tied up in my own shit I fell behind in reading ur blogs. (But ur right, i do read them)
now i wish i had talked to you...
::cries::
do not say that u will die alone! I do NOT think that is true at all...
I know quite a few ppl with Hep C and while it at times is very difficult for them, you CAN live a healthy life with it... PLEASE know that!
u are loved.
shit happens, u are right...
and having what u have has to suck...
as much as i want to say that i understand what u are going thru, i can not not, really, cause i do not have what u have.
but i have been thru things i now u have not been thru and those things "ruined" my life to some degree - almost killed me, but i am still here...
still here - like you are gonna be!
stay positive...
it sucks and life is a FUCKING BITCH. but things could ALWAYS be "worse" (sadly)...
I very sorry that u have it...
But u will be okay... you can be okay...
i luv u and i care... i am sorry you are going thru this...
now i am REALLY sorry.
I have been so damn tied up in my own shit I fell behind in reading ur blogs. (But ur right, i do read them)
now i wish i had talked to you...
::cries::
do not say that u will die alone! I do NOT think that is true at all...
I know quite a few ppl with Hep C and while it at times is very difficult for them, you CAN live a healthy life with it... PLEASE know that!
u are loved.
shit happens, u are right...
and having what u have has to suck...
as much as i want to say that i understand what u are going thru, i can not not, really, cause i do not have what u have.
but i have been thru things i now u have not been thru and those things "ruined" my life to some degree - almost killed me, but i am still here...
still here - like you are gonna be!
stay positive...
it sucks and life is a FUCKING BITCH. but things could ALWAYS be "worse" (sadly)...
I very sorry that u have it...
But u will be okay... you can be okay...
i luv u and i care... i am sorry you are going thru this...
i went to austin this weekend and had a pretty good time. bat fest was going on, proceeds went to the bat conservation organization, and i saw the supersuckers there. i also saw some good rockabilly bands, and a really good one man blue grass, rockabilly band.
my watch died so i went into a camera store to get a new battery but they didn't...
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my watch died so i went into a camera store to get a new battery but they didn't...
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so i took a break, from sg, by cancelling and then reopening my account, and from the regular world, because we had a field problem that requried us to be gone for a while. in the first 5 minutes of beeming back in civilization i wished that i was away from it. my bank fucked up my money and took half of it, and my...
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FUCK EVEN THIS IS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF! i think i'll try just looking at the photographs and ignoring peoples blogs, including my own. but i'll be gone for a while so it shouln't really be that hard. i am so looking forward to iraq, again, where life is simpler and you have no idea as to what may happen next.
tatian:
awe. why? what are you reading that's making u so mad??
ur going back??? awe... i couldn't imagine that as being any fun. be careful out there!
XOxo
ur going back???
awe... i couldn't imagine that as being any fun. be careful out there!
XOxo
whitewes88:
soon i'll be free from all of this, unable to communicate with most of the outside world and free to escape farther into my mind, farther into the rabbit hole.
P fucking S
I HATE PEOPLE, nothing concerned with today it's just a generalized statement.
I HATE PEOPLE, nothing concerned with today it's just a generalized statement.