I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
Unfortunately it does not get out the frustration as it does when you are writing it. And I don't know if I am talking to myself or to him. Cameron went to the range today. Okay - no biggie. Lindsay and Grim went - again no biggie. Well, I went by Cameron's house and got my phone and he wasn't there. It is 1030. The range closed about 6 or so. Well, he has basically been hanging out with Lindsay since then. Her car got towed so she has no wheels and he has been driving her everywhere. He said they went to his house so she could play on the computer (hers isn't working apparently) and then they went to dinner at Olive Garden. Okay - that is what pisses me off. He will go to dinner with her and pay but he won't go with me and pay. And the fact that he went with her. I like her but I still have A LOT OF FUCKING RESENTMENT over the whole deal a few months back with him going to her place. At the present he is at Wal-mart with her so she can get whatever it is she needs. Since she doesn't have a car and won't get it back until tomorrow I guess.
Please tell me - if I went to dinner and hung out with one of my guy friends and went shopping do you think that would bother you? I understand we are supposed to have a life outside of each other but why does he always have to hang around girls. I know damn good and well that she would sleep with him. I don't know if he sees that or not.
Also, the fact that I understand that he is not working but he rarely bought me dinner or took me out when he was working. I always pay for EVERYTHING. Maybe once in a blue moon he will spring for something. That pisses me off sometimes - more so lately though. I had invited him to come to Outback to eat and I thought that he would although he gave his usual answer of no answer.
No he didn't want to go there - he was going to Olive Garden with Lindsay. Yes - I am JEALOUS. I am still pissed off by the fact that the time he said he wanted to be alone and then he went to her house. It makes me VERY uncomfotable them hanging out with each other alone. I DON'T LIKE IT AND YES I AM YELLING. I caught him there. I have real issues with him hanging out with her if you cannot tell. See, this is what I mean - I tried to be okay with things recently and then shit keeps coming back.
On top of this I had a not so great night at work - people came in about 10 to close. Stupid people. I had to clsoe back of house and couldn't really do that untl everyone had left.
The big deal with them going to dinner is it was just them. If it had been a couple of people it would not bother me so much. Also, he said that he talked to her on the phone for an hour. He doesn't talk to anyone on the phone for a fucking hour. Granted they may not have talked in a while but and hour? I am going to make an ass of myself over this I know. I can feel it.
So, yeah - he is driving her home after Wal-mart and then what I don't know. I told him I would talk to him later. I think he knows I am bothered. he apparently had a good time today and I hate to ruin that but I am so upset. Maybe if we spent some time apart. Like a lot of time. That way he can do whatever the fuck he wants to do. I don't ever know what he is thinking. He knows that I don't like the whole deal with him and Lindsay. My insecurities. But motherfucker you put them there.
I want to cry. I think I might. Would he be completely okay with me having a friend that I hung out with the way he hangs out with Lindsay? He doesn't hang out with Heather. Just thought I would throw that in there.
I guess I shouldn't get upset - he hsan't done anything with her in a few months. I think it is still shit left over from before. I wish I could get rid of that.
Unfortunately it does not get out the frustration as it does when you are writing it. And I don't know if I am talking to myself or to him. Cameron went to the range today. Okay - no biggie. Lindsay and Grim went - again no biggie. Well, I went by Cameron's house and got my phone and he wasn't there. It is 1030. The range closed about 6 or so. Well, he has basically been hanging out with Lindsay since then. Her car got towed so she has no wheels and he has been driving her everywhere. He said they went to his house so she could play on the computer (hers isn't working apparently) and then they went to dinner at Olive Garden. Okay - that is what pisses me off. He will go to dinner with her and pay but he won't go with me and pay. And the fact that he went with her. I like her but I still have A LOT OF FUCKING RESENTMENT over the whole deal a few months back with him going to her place. At the present he is at Wal-mart with her so she can get whatever it is she needs. Since she doesn't have a car and won't get it back until tomorrow I guess.
Please tell me - if I went to dinner and hung out with one of my guy friends and went shopping do you think that would bother you? I understand we are supposed to have a life outside of each other but why does he always have to hang around girls. I know damn good and well that she would sleep with him. I don't know if he sees that or not.
Also, the fact that I understand that he is not working but he rarely bought me dinner or took me out when he was working. I always pay for EVERYTHING. Maybe once in a blue moon he will spring for something. That pisses me off sometimes - more so lately though. I had invited him to come to Outback to eat and I thought that he would although he gave his usual answer of no answer.
No he didn't want to go there - he was going to Olive Garden with Lindsay. Yes - I am JEALOUS. I am still pissed off by the fact that the time he said he wanted to be alone and then he went to her house. It makes me VERY uncomfotable them hanging out with each other alone. I DON'T LIKE IT AND YES I AM YELLING. I caught him there. I have real issues with him hanging out with her if you cannot tell. See, this is what I mean - I tried to be okay with things recently and then shit keeps coming back.
On top of this I had a not so great night at work - people came in about 10 to close. Stupid people. I had to clsoe back of house and couldn't really do that untl everyone had left.
The big deal with them going to dinner is it was just them. If it had been a couple of people it would not bother me so much. Also, he said that he talked to her on the phone for an hour. He doesn't talk to anyone on the phone for a fucking hour. Granted they may not have talked in a while but and hour? I am going to make an ass of myself over this I know. I can feel it.
So, yeah - he is driving her home after Wal-mart and then what I don't know. I told him I would talk to him later. I think he knows I am bothered. he apparently had a good time today and I hate to ruin that but I am so upset. Maybe if we spent some time apart. Like a lot of time. That way he can do whatever the fuck he wants to do. I don't ever know what he is thinking. He knows that I don't like the whole deal with him and Lindsay. My insecurities. But motherfucker you put them there.
I want to cry. I think I might. Would he be completely okay with me having a friend that I hung out with the way he hangs out with Lindsay? He doesn't hang out with Heather. Just thought I would throw that in there.
I guess I shouldn't get upset - he hsan't done anything with her in a few months. I think it is still shit left over from before. I wish I could get rid of that.
schoolgirl:
aww, honey, if us girls had a dime for every guy who made us feel like this, we'd be buying each other dinner. all the time! tell him...again.... that it bothers you cause this stuff eats at you and hurts like hell to deal with. yeah, you should always have a life of your own in a relationship, but if the separate life you guys lead is not ok with the other, then the life you lead together isn't either. If you like him, keep telling him your feelings about her, calmly, and that may make all the difference. feel better soon.