i can't sing as high as Chris Cornell, i can't sing as controlled as Terence Trent D'Arby, i can't play bass like Phil Lynott or write songs like Matt Davis, i can't play guitar like John Vanderslice, and don't even think of trying to parallel his arrangements, i can't feel what i'm playing, i don't sound like any of my heroes, or even like a pale imitation of them.
everyone asks me the same question at karaoke, albeit in a different form: "why aren't you in a band?"
the truth is that i'm not in a band because i don't want to be in that kind of band, that boring fucking kind of band that writes safe, trite boring bullshit, the kind of band that wears the costume of style like it were technique or relies on technique like it were stylish in any fucking way.
pretty people and their pretty fucking music make me so unreasonably, irrationally self-righteous at times, everything sounds just fucking so, and it makes me fucking nauseous, but i can't help but look at someone and want to scream what would probably sound similar to a stream of Anal Cunt song titles to anyone who would know who Anal Cunt is--
1) You Sound Like Dave Matthews and Third Eye Blind
2) All Your Songs Operate Around The Same G Chord
3) You Play Guitar Solos (Fuck You)
4) You Have Expensive Equipment
5) Hearing Your Soulless White Boy Frat-Funk Makes Me Want To Fuck Plywood
6) If You Bring Your Girlfriend Up On Stage, You're A Fucking Dipshit
7) I'm Glad You're Not Gay, Because If You Were, You'd Make Being Gay An Insult; For Fuck's Sake, The Mod Hairstyle Was A Lot Cooler When No One Paid For It
8) No, You Don't Need Anything In Your Monitor
9) God, I Love It When You're Too Aloof To Play Your Fucking Guitar
10) You Have Ten Amps, Fifty Keyboards, Two Samplers, and Twenty Guitars That Never Stay In Tune
11) You Write Songs About Torment, God, and/or Art, and How Much You're Persecuted
12) You Write Happy, Fun-Loving Bullshit That Wastes My Fucking Time
13) You Actually Think You're Cool
14) You Think The Sound Guy Is Getting Paid To Hear You Noodle Around
15) The Only Reason Why People Like You Is Because You Are Completely Unchallenging
16) At Least I Know I'm A Fucking Waste Of Time
17) You Take More Than Ten Minutes To Set Up And Tear Down (Fuck You)
18) For Fuck's Sake, Play A Different Drum Beat
19) Shut The Fuck Up (And Tell That Bitch Over There Who Just Loves You To Shut The Fuck Up, Because I Want Your Set To Be Over So I Can Either See The Band I Came To See That You Know Nothing About, I'm Serious, Just Shut The Fuck Up And Unplug Your Amps And Just Get The Fuck Off The Fucking Stage, For Christ's Sake, Go Headline Some Local Show At Some Frat Bar Or Hipster Mecca And Leave Me The Fuck Alone)
20) You Are Not Punk Rock
And, when I try to explain this to people, I usually get some smug answer like "well, what kind of band would you like to be in?" I can answer the only way I know how: "One I would like to listen to."
It's not that hard to grasp.
everyone asks me the same question at karaoke, albeit in a different form: "why aren't you in a band?"
the truth is that i'm not in a band because i don't want to be in that kind of band, that boring fucking kind of band that writes safe, trite boring bullshit, the kind of band that wears the costume of style like it were technique or relies on technique like it were stylish in any fucking way.
pretty people and their pretty fucking music make me so unreasonably, irrationally self-righteous at times, everything sounds just fucking so, and it makes me fucking nauseous, but i can't help but look at someone and want to scream what would probably sound similar to a stream of Anal Cunt song titles to anyone who would know who Anal Cunt is--
1) You Sound Like Dave Matthews and Third Eye Blind
2) All Your Songs Operate Around The Same G Chord
3) You Play Guitar Solos (Fuck You)
4) You Have Expensive Equipment
5) Hearing Your Soulless White Boy Frat-Funk Makes Me Want To Fuck Plywood
6) If You Bring Your Girlfriend Up On Stage, You're A Fucking Dipshit
7) I'm Glad You're Not Gay, Because If You Were, You'd Make Being Gay An Insult; For Fuck's Sake, The Mod Hairstyle Was A Lot Cooler When No One Paid For It
8) No, You Don't Need Anything In Your Monitor
9) God, I Love It When You're Too Aloof To Play Your Fucking Guitar
10) You Have Ten Amps, Fifty Keyboards, Two Samplers, and Twenty Guitars That Never Stay In Tune
11) You Write Songs About Torment, God, and/or Art, and How Much You're Persecuted
12) You Write Happy, Fun-Loving Bullshit That Wastes My Fucking Time
13) You Actually Think You're Cool
14) You Think The Sound Guy Is Getting Paid To Hear You Noodle Around
15) The Only Reason Why People Like You Is Because You Are Completely Unchallenging
16) At Least I Know I'm A Fucking Waste Of Time
17) You Take More Than Ten Minutes To Set Up And Tear Down (Fuck You)
18) For Fuck's Sake, Play A Different Drum Beat
19) Shut The Fuck Up (And Tell That Bitch Over There Who Just Loves You To Shut The Fuck Up, Because I Want Your Set To Be Over So I Can Either See The Band I Came To See That You Know Nothing About, I'm Serious, Just Shut The Fuck Up And Unplug Your Amps And Just Get The Fuck Off The Fucking Stage, For Christ's Sake, Go Headline Some Local Show At Some Frat Bar Or Hipster Mecca And Leave Me The Fuck Alone)
20) You Are Not Punk Rock
And, when I try to explain this to people, I usually get some smug answer like "well, what kind of band would you like to be in?" I can answer the only way I know how: "One I would like to listen to."
It's not that hard to grasp.
I will see you tommorrow weather you like it or not.
heh, I am drunk its fun.