wexsingxsin

Where to start the updates.

So I am so confused with whats going on with the band. I think its been like a couple of months now since I have talked to Charlie. The last thing I got from him was the music for the song "Goodbye Mannequin" which was really kind of amazing to hear some of the keyboard stuff I did make its way into it. I am really not a good musician by any means and so I get excited when I come up with something usable. So I am like are we still trying for the October 31st release day and he was like thats what we are trying for last Halloween. So then I check every once and a while to see if he has done anything else (most of my parts are done for the album) so now I havent seen him even on aim ever. I dont remember any drunken outbursts either, so now I am like what is going on with things. I am not hearing much response, but I dont want to come out bothersome, but it looks like we are not going to finish the album. I mean if the bands ending I would like to think wed at lest finish the album and then break up. I am worried I am not going to be able to find a new collaborator who was as good as he was. So like dose that mean most of my concept albums are never going to see the light of day

Which with his absense it's like I dont know if the two songs we were doing for The Kinks Tribute, are going to be done for that release or not. I have gotten in most of the contributions. I mean I can finish it without them but I would like to have Kim's version of "Well Respected Man" and our ska'd up version of "Till The End Of The Day"

I have two albums in mind right now to follow up Serial Numbers with, plus I want to get into setting up a They Might Be Giants tribute.

But this all takes a backseat to the Gender Idenitity issues I am sort of deciding to take on. I am sure every one has noticed I am not super manly by any means. I think there is a pretty good reason, I have always had more in common with well the female species. To some of you this isnt really new, but I figured I might as well just come out and say that I am thinking about starting to transition. Deffiently something thats not going to happen soon but something I need to start planning and thinking about. I mean I still live at home and not "out" to my parents or anything (which is a really big fear) so it's something I have to handle the right way. I should go see a therapist that deals with these issues (not the right word but it gets the point across) and then work it out with them on what my options are (please let one of them being an SG Hopeful) but the thing is I dont have a car (which is still a huge problem I cant seem to over come). I have been really worried about who is going to stick around, which I get a lot of response saying I should care what they think just be happy being you. I am also worried how these gender issues are going to play in me getting into a relationship. seeing how I am still into girls, but most girls like boys and not boys who want to be girls (for some reason I just thought of a Blur song) so thats whats going on there, I am sort of in an experimenting phase trying to see where I want to take this down the road.

I still have a crush on a girl who lives in another state, which is like the lamest thing ever since probably nothign will ever come of it. I dont like making the first move which is probably why I have been single for close to 3 years now lol.

I am really big right now into a band called Ayreon, they have this really amazing gift for wrting well thought out concept albums, I recomend everyone check out the album "The Human Equation" which is about a guy who ends up falling into a coma, and while he is in there he encounters all these parts of himself and through out the album they are trying to help him get out of the coma, while this is going on you hear his best friend and wife talking about this affair they had and they feel responsible for whats going on with him. It's a really well put together album, with a sci fi twist at the very end. Deffiently my favorite album at the moment. I am not sure what I think of Iced Earth's "Crucible Of Man" but I am glad Matt Barlow is back in the mix. It was wierd to see something him and Schaffier started be handed to Tim "The Ripper" Owens. Another project I am excited to see some thing happen with is Revolution Renaissance which has Timo from Stratovarious and it looks like guest vocals from Tobias of Avantasia.

lol what can I say I take my progressive metal too seriously some times

But yea I am basically just working a lot and trying to figure out my transgender issues.