violently

Glory holes galore. Yes, we went to the Motherlode. And the Abbey. And Here. And Rage.

So me and Karla went out to Weho last night to celebrate "happy no more shitty bf day" as she broke up with her assclown too.

Wish I could say I had a better time, but I met a very nice gay guy named Shakeel and we danced like assholes to Britney Spears. I love me some gay men.

Couldn't stop thinking about Nick though. I looed myself and called and he was like "I'm recording, I gotta go." Then after we got home I guess Karla was worried about me because she got into my phone and called him while I was asleep. Apparently he was like "I don't wanna talk about it, I don't have time for this, I am in the middle of something..." Eff off pal. I called and left a message this morning apologizing and I just gotta let it go for now. Nothing else I can say or do. I hope it didn't fuck shit up worse. At least my friend was trying to get my back.

I drunkdialed a million people in my phone last night, including my pal Anton in NY. I was so drunk that when his dad answered I thought it was him fucking with me, so I was all ummm ok Anton's dad, tell him to call Mary from the computer. HAHA. I'm fucking stupid.

I also drunk ate a chocolate malt, a cheeseburger, and chili fries. I forgive myself because I have barely eaten in the last few days so it's ok to pig the fuck out. Some guy gave me a flower too, but I was so busy chowing down I didn't even know where it came from until Karla was all, dude while you were snarfing down your chili fries some guy gave you that. I must be damn hot to have my face buried in chili fries and have someone give me a rose. Riiight.

Anyhow, my stomach feels terrible today so I am going to take some Klonopins and go back to bed and forget how much I miss Nick and all that happy horseshit, and remember to pray before I sleep. Hopefully my psychic will call me today or tomorrow and let me know what to do next. I actually do trust her and it makes me feel better to have some sort of guidance throughout this shitty time.

Everything is going to be ok. If I say it enough it will come true. Maybe this is just a test of patience.

And now off to vomit.


Update: I spoke to my psychic today. I don't care what anyone says, she is the real deal. I even took Karla with me for a reading and she's convinced. I haven't seen her so relieved and happy in forever. Donna (my psychic) rocks dude. She is for real.

Went to Scotland Yard tonight, saw garbage who is the shit and will always and forever be, and drank 2 sierra nevada beers. Because I quit drinking with Nick, not my girl friends. Shh.

I'm exhausted. Off to bed.