He is suck a fucking dick to me sometimes. All I ever need is a hug and a kiss and an "it's gonna be ok." And all I ever get is how I have problems, and how he doesn't want to talk about us, and his attitude. And how he doesn't love me, and how we're not bf & gf, and how he doesn't know if he's ever going to love me.
All I want to know is that he cares. All I want is a hug. All I want is some quality time, even if it's just for 2 hours. I'm willing to drive to him so I can be cuddled and watch a movie and take off. I didn't realized it bothered him so much to have me in his bed with him and sleep over. I didn't realize I can't go to him for anything without him giving me attitude instead of compassion. I didn't realize that he just really doesn't know how to give a fuck.
I know he used to love me. I don't know how or why it changed, and I don't know why he wants me around if he doesn't care. None of this makes any fucking sense
I wish I'd never met him. Why the fuck do I love him? Why can't I stop? Why did everything change? He used to treat me so well. It just doesn't fucking make sense. And I cannot stop crying. We're supposed to talk later tonight when he gets home from his drunk class. I just want to see him and talk to him in person. If this is it I deserve some fucking closure at least.
God, whatever I did in a past life to deserve this pain, I am fucking so sorry.
All I want to know is that he cares. All I want is a hug. All I want is some quality time, even if it's just for 2 hours. I'm willing to drive to him so I can be cuddled and watch a movie and take off. I didn't realized it bothered him so much to have me in his bed with him and sleep over. I didn't realize I can't go to him for anything without him giving me attitude instead of compassion. I didn't realize that he just really doesn't know how to give a fuck.
I know he used to love me. I don't know how or why it changed, and I don't know why he wants me around if he doesn't care. None of this makes any fucking sense
I wish I'd never met him. Why the fuck do I love him? Why can't I stop? Why did everything change? He used to treat me so well. It just doesn't fucking make sense. And I cannot stop crying. We're supposed to talk later tonight when he gets home from his drunk class. I just want to see him and talk to him in person. If this is it I deserve some fucking closure at least.
God, whatever I did in a past life to deserve this pain, I am fucking so sorry.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
Feel better peaches, from the looks of your journal there are a lot of people who really care about you. Fuck him, you're what's important.