violently

Well, tomorrow is my birthday. Another freakin year. I hope it goes better than this last one.

I just got home from Nick's house. Spent all day yesterday taking care of him because he was sick (soup, vitamins, water, lovin-the works) and when we got up this morning he was like, well I have family shit to do today so I'm gonna be busy all day. So I left, even though Sunday is our watch the game and get drunk day. Fucker didn't even wish me a happy birthday or anything. He better call tomorrow, cus I'm really upset. I put myself out there for this boy and I wish he would appreciate it. I mean maybe he does, but he sure has a funny way of showing it. I should just stop caring at all, cus he still has no clue of what he wants.

Rules for me if I continue this relationship:
1. Do not tell him you love him unless he says it first
2. Do not let his lack of sensitivity offend you, it's just how he is and he isn't used to people being nice to him.
3. Do not drop everything in your life to spend time with him
4. Remember your girlfriends and spend as much time with them as possible.
5. Don't take anything he says seriously.
6. Keep your eyes open and don't hesitate to tell him how you feel. You have a right to straight answers.

Of course I could be overanalyzing, but when it boils down to it, I should just be in this for fun and nothing else. If it stops being fun and I can't figure out what the fuck is going on, just let it go. Either he will wake up and realize he's an ass, or I'll find someone that cares about me 100% and I won't wonder what the fuck is going on ever because I'll know.

On another note, I think I may be getting sick. But I did it to myself by caring so someone call the wahmbulence on me.

I have absolutely nothing planned for my bday tomorrow. I'm lame. I guess I will go visit my best friend at her bar if she is working and that's that.

I really want a hug right now and to feel appreciated.