My baby is dead.
Martha has left this earth at only nine months old. She's the one snuggled between my boobs in my third profile pic.
It all happened so quickly. I took her into the vet this afternoon because last night her belly was really swollen. The vet examined her and squeezed her belly - the swelling was her bladder. He kept squeezing until her bladder was empty and all of a sudden the Martha I'd known had gone because in front of me was the thinnest, weakest, most emaciated little creature I've ever seen. Her skin hung loose. All the time I thought she was a plump weight, she's been scoffing her food, her appetite seemed healthy. But she was nothing but a little ghost without her distended bladder filling her out. I hate to think how long she's been like that without me or the vet realising.
She seemed to be in a lot of pain as well. They x-rayed her in case she had bladder stones which were blocking her up - she didn't. Kidney failure, they said. Her bladder was also leaking into her abdominal cavity. There was nothing they could do.
I first noticed she was a little bit peaky less than four weeks ago. And in that time my smiling little fatty has become a tiny, frail little shred of her former self. She'd lost ten percent of her body weight in two weeks. I can't imagine what she's gone through.
I held her close, her nose nuzzled under my chin. She chuckered a little bit but I think she was still pretty woozy from the gas they knocked her out with for the x-ray. I just held my baby and told her all the things I wanted to tell her, thanked her for the wonderful times she'd given me in the heartbreakingly short time she's been my girl, gave her one last kiss on the nose and passed her over to the vet, who was wonderful.
Millie has lost her sister, her playmate and her pillow. She will miss Martha terribly, as will her mum and dad. I know I'm in fucking pieces right now.
Of all my rats I thought Martha would be with me the longest. She was so young and strong until a month ago. How wrong we can be.
Rats have so many different personalities, so many different attitudes. Some of them tolerate you, show affection occasionally, but mostly want to get on with their ratty business. Others bind to you immediately, want to spend every moment with you, and touch your heart in a way that's impossible to describe. They just become part of you. Like a familiar. I've had a lot of rats - and Martha was one of those special ones. I will never forget her - and I have no doubt that we will meet again.
Rest in peace little girl. I love you. See you on the other side.
Martha has left this earth at only nine months old. She's the one snuggled between my boobs in my third profile pic.
It all happened so quickly. I took her into the vet this afternoon because last night her belly was really swollen. The vet examined her and squeezed her belly - the swelling was her bladder. He kept squeezing until her bladder was empty and all of a sudden the Martha I'd known had gone because in front of me was the thinnest, weakest, most emaciated little creature I've ever seen. Her skin hung loose. All the time I thought she was a plump weight, she's been scoffing her food, her appetite seemed healthy. But she was nothing but a little ghost without her distended bladder filling her out. I hate to think how long she's been like that without me or the vet realising.
She seemed to be in a lot of pain as well. They x-rayed her in case she had bladder stones which were blocking her up - she didn't. Kidney failure, they said. Her bladder was also leaking into her abdominal cavity. There was nothing they could do.
I first noticed she was a little bit peaky less than four weeks ago. And in that time my smiling little fatty has become a tiny, frail little shred of her former self. She'd lost ten percent of her body weight in two weeks. I can't imagine what she's gone through.
I held her close, her nose nuzzled under my chin. She chuckered a little bit but I think she was still pretty woozy from the gas they knocked her out with for the x-ray. I just held my baby and told her all the things I wanted to tell her, thanked her for the wonderful times she'd given me in the heartbreakingly short time she's been my girl, gave her one last kiss on the nose and passed her over to the vet, who was wonderful.
Millie has lost her sister, her playmate and her pillow. She will miss Martha terribly, as will her mum and dad. I know I'm in fucking pieces right now.
Of all my rats I thought Martha would be with me the longest. She was so young and strong until a month ago. How wrong we can be.
Rats have so many different personalities, so many different attitudes. Some of them tolerate you, show affection occasionally, but mostly want to get on with their ratty business. Others bind to you immediately, want to spend every moment with you, and touch your heart in a way that's impossible to describe. They just become part of you. Like a familiar. I've had a lot of rats - and Martha was one of those special ones. I will never forget her - and I have no doubt that we will meet again.
Rest in peace little girl. I love you. See you on the other side.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
baudot:
R.I.P., little one.
jozsef:
I'm very moved by what you wrote and I feel very sad that you had this unexpected loss. I learned a long time ago that rats are nice and thanks to Vesper mentioning you in her journal, the world seems a better place because I know that someone with your intelligence and kind heart is out there. I really mean that. I don't suppose a rat can have a better life than one spent with you.