Every year I become more and more bitter on Valentine’s Day. Yes, it’s a bullshit commercial holiday that Hallmark guilts people into putting romantic effort into their significant other. Well... I want to be able to put that effort into the day, but I keep caring less and less as it goes fairly unappreciated. I’ve known since early on that my wife has never been a fan of the day, but over time I figured that would change as she was in a more long term stable relationship. Needless to say it hasn’t. Personally I have my views on it, and I believe she just doesn’t like yet another day of the year where she needs to try to make someone else matter. Birthdays... at least for me... she doesn’t put much stock into, same for Christmas and I think it’s because, despite what anyone ever thinks, we’re put under a microscope for what we choose to do, and she fights that to the point where I’m left disappointed at lack of effort on her behalf.
I on the other hand do the same old gold dipped rose I’ve done every year since we’ve been married. Not a big deal, but it’s still a $60 item. Even if it’s just another one, still take the picture, post it online, and at least act like someone treats you special. Also walking the grocery store yesterday, you are bombarded with flowers, candy and cards... and as I would hate to be one who does nothing, I picked up some flowers and some M&Ms because I know she’ll like those things. Now today I’m left with the bitter feeling because no reciprocated effort will be put out and it’s my own fault because I know this. But my sex life has been nearly non existent the last few months, and as if I thought some how tonight could be gratifying. Even if I was to get a piece tonight, I have a feeling it’s going to be met with a good deal of stipulation and not nearly as free spirited and fun as I would like to think. I just wish as a culture we could give this occasion up so I dont feel like ugly single person when Indeed I have someone at home.