I don't think I ever really realized how much I define myself by my job. I had a great job in California. So great, in fact, that I took it for granted. I assumed that it was just a place where I spent a good part of my day, and sure, I like my customers and my coworkers, but at the end of the day it was still a job. I thought.
Turns out though, that it was much more than that. I quit a job here that I never should have taken in the first place. It was hard, but the right thing to do. I've been unemployed for all of three days now, and I'm realizing how much my work meant to me. Don't get me wrong, I don't save lives or anything. In the grand scheme of the universe my work isn't all that significant. But I'm realizing that to me, my successes and failures at work are a large part of how I define myself.
I've been on two job interviews in the last few weeks, and didn't get either job. I know that the odds of that are pretty high, and it's something that everyone else in the world has experienced too, but my self-esteem has taken a huge dive. I did pretty well at both interviews, and the rational, moderated side of me says that they just found someone whose skills were a better fit for the company. But then there's that little voice that says, "OMG YOU'LL NEVER FIND A JOB BECAUSE YOU SUCK AND YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO PAY THE RENT AND YOUR DOG WILL RUN AWAY AND YOUR HUSBAND WILL LEAVE YOU!!!"
I had another interview this afternoon, and did quite well, and was well qualified. Hopefully I nail this one and that voice won't get any bigger.
I know we made the right decision by moving here, and I know the job situation will work itself out. But I miss the security and satisfaction of a job I was truly good at.
I miss it almost as much as I miss my friends. But that's a journal for another time. A time when I'm a bit more emotionally stable.
Turns out though, that it was much more than that. I quit a job here that I never should have taken in the first place. It was hard, but the right thing to do. I've been unemployed for all of three days now, and I'm realizing how much my work meant to me. Don't get me wrong, I don't save lives or anything. In the grand scheme of the universe my work isn't all that significant. But I'm realizing that to me, my successes and failures at work are a large part of how I define myself.
I've been on two job interviews in the last few weeks, and didn't get either job. I know that the odds of that are pretty high, and it's something that everyone else in the world has experienced too, but my self-esteem has taken a huge dive. I did pretty well at both interviews, and the rational, moderated side of me says that they just found someone whose skills were a better fit for the company. But then there's that little voice that says, "OMG YOU'LL NEVER FIND A JOB BECAUSE YOU SUCK AND YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO PAY THE RENT AND YOUR DOG WILL RUN AWAY AND YOUR HUSBAND WILL LEAVE YOU!!!"
I had another interview this afternoon, and did quite well, and was well qualified. Hopefully I nail this one and that voice won't get any bigger.
I know we made the right decision by moving here, and I know the job situation will work itself out. But I miss the security and satisfaction of a job I was truly good at.
I miss it almost as much as I miss my friends. But that's a journal for another time. A time when I'm a bit more emotionally stable.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
joscelyne:
We are in the same place, believe it or not. Messaging you.
breezey:
Actually I played strip poker with GarageDelFuego, Cedar,Lukass, Heracleitus, baudot, Nementh, and KiwiPrincess. It was good times all around, it just sucks cause I was the first out!