Last Weekend IV: Double Weekend Impact
"...never a dull moment! A delightfully unpredictable ending will leave your mind in fucking ruin!" - Ebert & Roeper
Friday the 11th began a short yet intense weekend of awesome danger with the arrival of Maxx and zotted member anything. Instantly recognizing the cape wearing psychopath Maxx, I proceeded to aid them in their quest to get drunk over a twelve hour period at several exotic locations. Well, I don't know if you can technically call them exotic, but how many times a week do you make a drunken pass at the Empress of Mars before stumbling into a kareoke party and breaking the will of everyone around you with a kick-ass duet of Brittney Spears' Toxic? Never? Yeah, that's what I thought, pussy.
Saturday was flawlessly debaucherous as expected, but Sunday was the night that grabbed my soul by the collar and ran it head-first into a solid wall of holy shit. My guests and I enjoyed a mandatory evening of improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater where I maintained a steady and unyielding boner for Amy Poehler. Afterward, we immediately pulled into the fastlane on the road to Fuck You, Zak's Liver! A vigilant pub crawl saw us out until 4:30 in the morning, which isn't that bad until you consider the fact that I had four hours to sober up, beat my hang-over, and produce a commercial. I woke up an hour late and spent a generous amount of time sitting on the toilet with the phone in my hand, debating whether or not I should call in sick. I wouldn't have been lying, technically, if the contents of the toilet were any indication. But I eventually decided to stop being such a sissy and got my ass out the door. Not only did I produce the living hell out of that commercial, but I even went to jiu-jitsu class and managed to not get killed.
Last weekend was a decent follow up, providing just the right amount of revelry to allow a proper recovery from the previous weekend. I also got to meet the dangerously discreet thirtyseven, which was agreeable since she's not too bad on the eyes or comedy receptors.
Also, since I recently broke up with my girlfriend of almost two years, I'll probably be contributing a lot more to The Shaved Report, so keep supporting that.
"...never a dull moment! A delightfully unpredictable ending will leave your mind in fucking ruin!" - Ebert & Roeper
Friday the 11th began a short yet intense weekend of awesome danger with the arrival of Maxx and zotted member anything. Instantly recognizing the cape wearing psychopath Maxx, I proceeded to aid them in their quest to get drunk over a twelve hour period at several exotic locations. Well, I don't know if you can technically call them exotic, but how many times a week do you make a drunken pass at the Empress of Mars before stumbling into a kareoke party and breaking the will of everyone around you with a kick-ass duet of Brittney Spears' Toxic? Never? Yeah, that's what I thought, pussy.
Saturday was flawlessly debaucherous as expected, but Sunday was the night that grabbed my soul by the collar and ran it head-first into a solid wall of holy shit. My guests and I enjoyed a mandatory evening of improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater where I maintained a steady and unyielding boner for Amy Poehler. Afterward, we immediately pulled into the fastlane on the road to Fuck You, Zak's Liver! A vigilant pub crawl saw us out until 4:30 in the morning, which isn't that bad until you consider the fact that I had four hours to sober up, beat my hang-over, and produce a commercial. I woke up an hour late and spent a generous amount of time sitting on the toilet with the phone in my hand, debating whether or not I should call in sick. I wouldn't have been lying, technically, if the contents of the toilet were any indication. But I eventually decided to stop being such a sissy and got my ass out the door. Not only did I produce the living hell out of that commercial, but I even went to jiu-jitsu class and managed to not get killed.
Last weekend was a decent follow up, providing just the right amount of revelry to allow a proper recovery from the previous weekend. I also got to meet the dangerously discreet thirtyseven, which was agreeable since she's not too bad on the eyes or comedy receptors.
Also, since I recently broke up with my girlfriend of almost two years, I'll probably be contributing a lot more to The Shaved Report, so keep supporting that.
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Also, I'm finally a staff writer on The Shaved Report. Check out my article on Sandra Bullock a little later today.