I just knew that when I walked out of my house this morning wearing an Amsterdam t-shirt that it was open call for friendly idiots. Sure enough, my early morning dumbass encounter rating was off the charts.
Dumbass survival tip #1: If someone starts a sentence with "dude", and they are neither your friend nor being sarcastic, brace yourself for something mind shatteringly stupid.
Bearing that in mind, the first verbal human contact I had this morning began with "Dude, Amsterdam. Fuck yeah." which promted this brief conversation.
Me: "Yeah. I've never been there myself."
Guy: "I haven't either, but I hear it's sweeeet."
Me: "I hear the food is suppose to be pretty good."
Guy: "Yeah, maybe their brownies.
Me: "Well, I'm diabetic, so I wouldn't know. I only got the shirt because their flag is so freaking awesome. It kind of say to me 'If we ever decide to invade your country, we might do it drunk!'"
In party news, here's a picture of me at four in the morning last Saturday.
When my brother asked me what I was doing, I replied "Man, this new Prodigy album has some hype motha' fuckin' beats!"
Him: "What Prodigy album?"
Me: "The one I'm dancin' to, man! It's TIGHT!"
Him: "...there's no music on right now."
And to wrap it up, here's a picture of me in what is most likely the only time you'll ever see me topless. The only reason I'm posting it at all is because I'm pretty excited to see that all the time I spent dry-heaving at my gym is finally starting to pay off. Goodbye lovehandles. I'm going to miss you about as much as the clap.
PS - Remember to help.
Dumbass survival tip #1: If someone starts a sentence with "dude", and they are neither your friend nor being sarcastic, brace yourself for something mind shatteringly stupid.
Bearing that in mind, the first verbal human contact I had this morning began with "Dude, Amsterdam. Fuck yeah." which promted this brief conversation.
Me: "Yeah. I've never been there myself."
Guy: "I haven't either, but I hear it's sweeeet."
Me: "I hear the food is suppose to be pretty good."
Guy: "Yeah, maybe their brownies.
Me: "Well, I'm diabetic, so I wouldn't know. I only got the shirt because their flag is so freaking awesome. It kind of say to me 'If we ever decide to invade your country, we might do it drunk!'"
In party news, here's a picture of me at four in the morning last Saturday.
When my brother asked me what I was doing, I replied "Man, this new Prodigy album has some hype motha' fuckin' beats!"
Him: "What Prodigy album?"
Me: "The one I'm dancin' to, man! It's TIGHT!"
Him: "...there's no music on right now."
And to wrap it up, here's a picture of me in what is most likely the only time you'll ever see me topless. The only reason I'm posting it at all is because I'm pretty excited to see that all the time I spent dry-heaving at my gym is finally starting to pay off. Goodbye lovehandles. I'm going to miss you about as much as the clap.
PS - Remember to help.
VIEW 25 of 48 COMMENTS
I sometimes let out a "dude" here and there - at the beginning of a sentance, even - but when you spend a good year hanging out with 19-year-old stoners, well, it's to be expected.