Joke-Jackers: America's Modern Answer to Medieval Waste Treatment
There's nothing worse than having your car stolen, then seeing the fiend who took it driving down the highway in it. Oh, except having your jokes stolen, then seeing the fiend who took them living large on the highway of comedy. It's been brought to my attention by an anonymous friend's reliable yet totally excessive powers of observation that I am a victim of joke-jacking. If it was on a small scale, say something like using one of my fatal examples of character defamation to tell your mom off, I wouldn't have a problem with it. In fact, not only do I encourage it, but I'll hold the bitch down for you if she starts to get dangerously emotional. Now, if you're using something that I came up with that I still haven't heard anywhere else, then receive a paycheck for it, you my friend, are a bitch-ass style-biter.
Stick with me for a second while I enter the stressful world of a twitchy paranoid conspiracy theorist.
A few weeks ago, I wrote some stupid blurb about me ruling a little kingdom called "all known existence". In it, I mentioned something about researching a fuel that would power cars with nothing but a single unlimited natural resource...sarcasm. A few weeks later, I was handed a copy of a well known satyrical newspaper to see a cover story describing that exact scene with the word "sarcasm" swapped out for "anger". Now I'm fully aware of how unlikely it is that someone who reads my journal told a friend who told a friend who works for said newspaper something he thought was funny from a pornographic journal, but you have to admit that shit is mind seizingly close.
The reason I'm torqued right now is because this isn't the first time something like this has happened. About a year ago, I submitted a few articles to another well known west coast magazine. I immediately stopped submitting articles when I noticed jokes appearing in the editor's articles that came straight from my rejected ones. Not slight variations or anything, but THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKES!
In the end, I can't help but feel a little counter-productive. I shouldn't have to say anything to these people. They're fully capable of crying in the shower every night while lamenting their lack of creativity without me telling them to do so. In the mean time, I'm going to run up to the first Mr. Softee ice cream truck I see, drag the vendor out of it by his shirt collar, and beat him into unconsciousness with freezer-burnt snowcones.
There's nothing worse than having your car stolen, then seeing the fiend who took it driving down the highway in it. Oh, except having your jokes stolen, then seeing the fiend who took them living large on the highway of comedy. It's been brought to my attention by an anonymous friend's reliable yet totally excessive powers of observation that I am a victim of joke-jacking. If it was on a small scale, say something like using one of my fatal examples of character defamation to tell your mom off, I wouldn't have a problem with it. In fact, not only do I encourage it, but I'll hold the bitch down for you if she starts to get dangerously emotional. Now, if you're using something that I came up with that I still haven't heard anywhere else, then receive a paycheck for it, you my friend, are a bitch-ass style-biter.
Stick with me for a second while I enter the stressful world of a twitchy paranoid conspiracy theorist.
A few weeks ago, I wrote some stupid blurb about me ruling a little kingdom called "all known existence". In it, I mentioned something about researching a fuel that would power cars with nothing but a single unlimited natural resource...sarcasm. A few weeks later, I was handed a copy of a well known satyrical newspaper to see a cover story describing that exact scene with the word "sarcasm" swapped out for "anger". Now I'm fully aware of how unlikely it is that someone who reads my journal told a friend who told a friend who works for said newspaper something he thought was funny from a pornographic journal, but you have to admit that shit is mind seizingly close.
The reason I'm torqued right now is because this isn't the first time something like this has happened. About a year ago, I submitted a few articles to another well known west coast magazine. I immediately stopped submitting articles when I noticed jokes appearing in the editor's articles that came straight from my rejected ones. Not slight variations or anything, but THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKES!
In the end, I can't help but feel a little counter-productive. I shouldn't have to say anything to these people. They're fully capable of crying in the shower every night while lamenting their lack of creativity without me telling them to do so. In the mean time, I'm going to run up to the first Mr. Softee ice cream truck I see, drag the vendor out of it by his shirt collar, and beat him into unconsciousness with freezer-burnt snowcones.
VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
What's your FUCKING PROBLEM with St. Patrick's Day?????
The Irish I've grown up with don't give a shit about race!!!Irish are about drinking, and guys in skirts w/bagpipes, etc. I don't see what you're comment had to do with St. Patricks Day. Pick on anyone you want but the Irish! I'll have to beat your ass & steal your makeup