unnecessaryz

"...running across water should pose no problems for a true ninja"

A direct quote from the instruction manual of my new favorite game, Ninja Gaiden for the X-Box. It's not the most amazing game I've ever played by any means, but truly, any game with quotes like that is obviously made for me.

I apologize to any of my fine female friends who may have gotten a different impression of me through my exuberance on the dancefloor and any rumors you may have heard about me being a ladies man, because I turn into a shamless video game nerd given the right game. And any game that explodes my mind on its own in addition to giving you the chance to unlock the original Ninja Gaiden trilogy is enough to make me forget I ever even knew what the word vagina meant to me.

So, if you don't see or hear from me in the next few weeks, read the last paragraph one more time: I have four, count them, one two three four ninja games on one disc. One new and three old but awesome ninja games. I'm going to be running along walls around my enemies. I'm going to be throwing them by the necks. I'm going to be beating the hell out of them with nunchucks and explosive ninja stars. I'm going to be shooting fucking fire from my hands and I'm probably goiing to gain ten pounds on my ass doing all of it.

I'm going to be commemorating my ninja love by wearing a disguise, so if you're looking for me, keep an eye out for the guy wearing a headband with the word ninja on it and a pair of cobra emblazoned weightlifter pants. Sayornara, pussies!