Seriously bitch! Get out tha way!
I'm going to do something I haven't done in an incredibly long time: I'm going to update you with as much factual informatioin as possible with as little ninja referencing my limited brain can handle. So after having left my ninja compound in Ninja Land to see the Pacific north-west, I can only say that it's too fucking cold back home and I want to go back. For my first visit ever to the west coast, I was treated as delicately as a Japanese back massage with "big finish". MisterSatan and Seth0067 picked me up from the airport where we proceeded to drink as much beer as we could before the not-New York bitch-ass last call. Then I slept on the very generous DreamMaker's floor without actually meeting him. He did, however appear in my dreams as a counfused afro-clad gent stepping over a mysterious stranger as he got ready for work. Satan and I then travelled to the oft misrepresented Tacoma where we hung out at the mall all day and then got yelled at for swearing on the bus. From what I thought I understood, getting yelled at for swearing in Tacoma is a bit like getting thrown in jail for not breaking the law. But whatever. Later on, I was introduced to the raddest non-ninja related place on Earth: a bar in the shape of a tea pot. Vikprez, null, girl, and Roxy were the best drinking partners I could have asked for while I got drunk and hallucinated that I was playing with a giant squirrel that MisterSatan went to high school with.
Portland was cool. I took a break from wacky adventuring and just relaxed until Amitabha took me on an adorable ice-cream date that at no time included eating ice-cream off of each other.
Coming home was where the nightmare began, from which 96% of the horror was contributed by spending the day with my ex-wife. Monday was the day I entered the courthouse to finalize my divorce. Monday was also the day I had my face repeatedly raped by our lovable gonvernment. In addition to the $300 I dropped for the paperwork, we were blessed with the gift of three glorious parking tickets. Getting punished for following proper government procedure? Thumbs up America! And fuck you!
I'm going to do something I haven't done in an incredibly long time: I'm going to update you with as much factual informatioin as possible with as little ninja referencing my limited brain can handle. So after having left my ninja compound in Ninja Land to see the Pacific north-west, I can only say that it's too fucking cold back home and I want to go back. For my first visit ever to the west coast, I was treated as delicately as a Japanese back massage with "big finish". MisterSatan and Seth0067 picked me up from the airport where we proceeded to drink as much beer as we could before the not-New York bitch-ass last call. Then I slept on the very generous DreamMaker's floor without actually meeting him. He did, however appear in my dreams as a counfused afro-clad gent stepping over a mysterious stranger as he got ready for work. Satan and I then travelled to the oft misrepresented Tacoma where we hung out at the mall all day and then got yelled at for swearing on the bus. From what I thought I understood, getting yelled at for swearing in Tacoma is a bit like getting thrown in jail for not breaking the law. But whatever. Later on, I was introduced to the raddest non-ninja related place on Earth: a bar in the shape of a tea pot. Vikprez, null, girl, and Roxy were the best drinking partners I could have asked for while I got drunk and hallucinated that I was playing with a giant squirrel that MisterSatan went to high school with.
Portland was cool. I took a break from wacky adventuring and just relaxed until Amitabha took me on an adorable ice-cream date that at no time included eating ice-cream off of each other.
Coming home was where the nightmare began, from which 96% of the horror was contributed by spending the day with my ex-wife. Monday was the day I entered the courthouse to finalize my divorce. Monday was also the day I had my face repeatedly raped by our lovable gonvernment. In addition to the $300 I dropped for the paperwork, we were blessed with the gift of three glorious parking tickets. Getting punished for following proper government procedure? Thumbs up America! And fuck you!
VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
irina:
Really nice to meet you last night! Now get me a fucking job!!!
johnnydelicious:
Is the Silent Hill piss in the Arlene's Grocery pisser? Trying to remember which places look like that when you don't visit any of them sober has made me second guess my ability to photographically recall every pee I have ever taken. Thank you Mr. Pabst.