THE ORIGIN
In observance of Marting Luther King Day, I have decided to reveal the origin of my NAACP compliant alter-ego, Legally Black.
1976 - The mother of Legally Black meets, marries, and does her thing with a man of unknown Latino descent. The possiblilities of the man being from outer-space have not been completely ruled out.
1977 - Latino space man gets cold feet at the idea of being a dad, so he says something that gets him categorized under 'D' for dipshit. A week later the woman takes steps to see that the man comes home to an empty apartment. Five months later, Mother Nature proves to the woman that she had more than just bad gas. She gives birth to a boy and leaves 'Father' slot empty on birth certificate.
1979 - A black man from out of town enters the local disco and shows surrounding white bred suckas how dancing can get you the ladies. More specifically, a lady. Woman takes man home and introduces him to her son. Son vomits semi-digested gram crackers onto man's shoes.
1981 - Man and woman get married.
1982 - Husband and wife enter into custody battle with Latino space man and win in laughably record time. Black man is officially added to birth certificate. Boy is happily raised in a family that, like the delicious cookie of the same name, is equal parts black and white.
1996 - Young man applies for college and in turn, student loans. Seeks copies of parents' birth certificates for required information. Notices that the certificates of their generation includes the child's race. Comes to the conclusion that the name of a government approved black man on his own birth certificate makes him a government approved black man as well. On a dare, young man applies for scholarship through The Council for African-American Students. Ends up getting asked to meet the council for possible scholarship acceptance. Is immediately rejected upon face to face meeting.
1997 - Legally Black was officially unleashed upon the world. For what I don't know, but it's always been good for a laugh.
Fun Facts!
- My dad regularly engaged in hand-to-hand combat as a result of the obvious confusion regarding the presence of a black man in such a white town.
- I regularly engaged in hand-to-hand combat as a result of people making fun of my younger brothers and their obviously confusing genetic makeup.
- I recently met my bioligical father's new family and found it humorous that they constantly referred to the three girls as my sisters, as if someone could be instantly placed on the same level as two people I grew up with.
- The same judge that married my parents married my wife and myself exactly 20 years later. Unfortunately for him, this one wouldn't have as strong an impact on the term 'socialogical breakthrough' or the term 'till death do us part'.
In observance of Marting Luther King Day, I have decided to reveal the origin of my NAACP compliant alter-ego, Legally Black.
1976 - The mother of Legally Black meets, marries, and does her thing with a man of unknown Latino descent. The possiblilities of the man being from outer-space have not been completely ruled out.
1977 - Latino space man gets cold feet at the idea of being a dad, so he says something that gets him categorized under 'D' for dipshit. A week later the woman takes steps to see that the man comes home to an empty apartment. Five months later, Mother Nature proves to the woman that she had more than just bad gas. She gives birth to a boy and leaves 'Father' slot empty on birth certificate.
1979 - A black man from out of town enters the local disco and shows surrounding white bred suckas how dancing can get you the ladies. More specifically, a lady. Woman takes man home and introduces him to her son. Son vomits semi-digested gram crackers onto man's shoes.
1981 - Man and woman get married.
1982 - Husband and wife enter into custody battle with Latino space man and win in laughably record time. Black man is officially added to birth certificate. Boy is happily raised in a family that, like the delicious cookie of the same name, is equal parts black and white.
1996 - Young man applies for college and in turn, student loans. Seeks copies of parents' birth certificates for required information. Notices that the certificates of their generation includes the child's race. Comes to the conclusion that the name of a government approved black man on his own birth certificate makes him a government approved black man as well. On a dare, young man applies for scholarship through The Council for African-American Students. Ends up getting asked to meet the council for possible scholarship acceptance. Is immediately rejected upon face to face meeting.
1997 - Legally Black was officially unleashed upon the world. For what I don't know, but it's always been good for a laugh.
Fun Facts!
- My dad regularly engaged in hand-to-hand combat as a result of the obvious confusion regarding the presence of a black man in such a white town.
- I regularly engaged in hand-to-hand combat as a result of people making fun of my younger brothers and their obviously confusing genetic makeup.
- I recently met my bioligical father's new family and found it humorous that they constantly referred to the three girls as my sisters, as if someone could be instantly placed on the same level as two people I grew up with.
- The same judge that married my parents married my wife and myself exactly 20 years later. Unfortunately for him, this one wouldn't have as strong an impact on the term 'socialogical breakthrough' or the term 'till death do us part'.
VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
minimalism:
Snakemann wants to be added to your friend's list. [approve] [delete]
freyja__:
*coughthisisaweekoldcough*
