unnecessaryz

When I first came to this site, I didn't have anything but a bag full of sass and a nutsack full of mean streak. I just ended my marriage and I was looking for the fastest way to people's bad side because I got off on it for some reason. Nothing's really changed, but I have unexpectedly met some people that are all kinds of fucked up awesome. In the proud tradition of people who have more to say in their liner notes than in an entire album of shitty music, it's time for shout outs to my mother fuckers. I'd put these in your testimonials, but you know ain't nobody readin' that shit! And after you skip to your own part, maybe you could check everyone else's. Listed in alphabetical order:

Amitabha - My necka from the dark side. He takes my abuse the best way possible, by giving it back. The best person by far to have a public gay spout with, he's one of the top reasons I'd even consider traveling to the poverty stricken hell hole and jewl of the north-west, Portland.

Beatrice - This terminator like tri-athelete brings the poison tipped humor like no other. Everything seems rad enough, I just wish I knew what she looked like outside of a single rotoscoped picture...

BKFreak - This mother fucker knows not only where the party is at, but how to summon one from the pits of hell if there isn't one to be at. Plus his crib is way too fly.

BukkakeGod - Don't know him as well as I should know a guy named after my favorite act of intimacy.

Clara - Humorist, philosopher, and advanced sex kitten, I can only dream of a woman as hot and funny as this one.

evilannie - So far she seems like a pedaphile, but a rad one, make no mistake. We'll soon see if there's more to her child predator ways.

freyja - My party girl. It's hard to find someone that isn't too lazy to dance after they're drunk beyond time and space, but she's got her finger on the very pulse of rad. Ask her one question about NYC and she'll give you ten answers.

gram - I only had the chance to meet this straight up G once, but that was enough to tell me I want this nigga' at my back. Look out ladies, he's just as sensitive as he is hardcore.

Keith - you smooth mutha' fucka', where you been?

ladykier - From what I know, amazing, beautiful and shameless. Apparently she's even better than that but I'm too much of a sack of shit to get enough time off to see her show.

luna - King party, he's a long standing member of the NY royal family. He spins all the right jams and he spins even righter video games.

MisterSatan - Another brotha' from the west side. We've got that flow that I only have with a few people: bouncing one fucked up idea off of another one until we forgot how we came up with a gun that fires high velocity dildos.

penny - I know enough to see she's also got that special gift of being totally hot and totally hilarious.

richiedagger - My barely legal honey. He's the coolest guy I had to fight before giving up the digits. He's a smart ass that's actually smart.

Seth0067 - He was cool until he fucking moved! He's probably the only non-rockabilly besides me that still sports wicked sideburns in NYC, and that means more than you can know. I'm sad that my introduction to his hosting of what is probably the best idea for a party ever was his last.

skydork - The hardest playa' in Queens, above even me. Ladies love him and fortune will probably continue to smile on him until he actually plays video games against me.

slinkster - It doesn't hurt that we met over a friendly game of Mr. Do, but she is totally rad. I can't wait to kick it with her on one of my many trips to the city of brotherly love.

themadking - I look forward to more from this well spoken raconteur with an obvious chip on his shoulder...like a hard boiled cop.

throatneedle - Mi hermano! He knows what kind of sick shit I'm thinking before I even say it, and those are mighty powers indeed. Tends to indulge a bit in, oh...massive vomiting sprees! But I'm sure he'll be able to get past that when he moves back here.

Troglodyte - I can somehow hear the insulting levels of deadpan whenever he types. Not bad for a person I first mistook for a girl with his old head of GIRLY HAIR!!! Seriously though, I hold deadpan in the highest esteem.

userlame - Counters my snide comments as skillfully as a monk who could somehow use kung fu to fight with words. Anyone who obsessively idolized Spider Jerusalim is off to a huge head start in the game of life.

wraith7000 - Do you ever wish you had someone who remembers all the stupid crap from days long past that you hold dear? Well, I'm totally better than you, because I have wraith. You should all rent the blockbuster movie "The Wraith" starring Charlie Sheen in his honor. I'm sure he's as tired of that joke as you will be of that movie as soon as Randy Quaid show his ugly mug.

_nicole_ - Dear nicole, you've given me a small enough taste of your radness that makes me almost hate you for moving away so close to what could have been a titanic team up of vigtilante justice.