unnecessaryz

All right! We've reached the point where each new journal entry becomes the latest recipient of the "Longest Gap Between Updates" award. Clocking in at nearly two months, this update is bound to be my last. I'm up to date enough with all the goings on here, so I know that the latest trend is to talk about how the new site affects your period or erectile functionality, followed by either quitting or begrudgingly renewing your membership. Well, I'm pleased to announce that I've missed my period, and it looks like I'll be giving birth to a brand new shut the fuck up.

I like the new site just fine. I'm sure that in time, people will forget that it was ever anything other than a colorful maze of links. In my opinion it's the most work-friendly version yet, and the addition of masculine grays to the background makes my crotch feel like it has a dick again. Sure there's an impossible number of options to choose from on each page, and I have to look at the sweaty inner-thigh of some emo mother fucker on the ad that never fails to show up on my personal homepage, but the detail that went into the design is admirable. bean is a craftsman and I'll probably hire him to design my post-apocalyptic version of civilization once I finally crush our pathetic present society. It'll be fucking sweet. When you let your gaze hover over another citizen long enough, a larger picture of them will suddenly appear and tell you why they enjoy being my slave, and every time you turn a corner on the streets of my futurescapes, each street sign will unroll before your very eyes.

But despite what I think, I was already burned out on the site long before the beta version was even announced. I have no interest in being bombarded multiple times a day by rock and roll clones with no established personalities, more than half of which I totally wouldn't even do. I don't want to be spoken down to by newswire contributors who were hired under the assumption that SG members know and love their work, then come here with a false sense of entitlement when barely anyone knows who the fuck they are. More importantly, I have no desire to pay money, no matter how reasonable it seems, to speak to people I know in real life. I've reached the maximum threshold of people I care to get to know here, and I don't really have enough time to take on more. My membership expires in August. I may stay for another month, I may not, but one thing is for sure: my soul has already left this place. Mainly because my soul was taken by an immortal karate magician while I was busy defending Earth from his ninja henchmen as they cartwheeled out of the sky, but my body still doesn't want to be here either.

For now, I leave you with a few excerpts from a collection of my favorite photographic theme: Me with hot women.

As you can see, the difference in timing between sexy faces and hilarious faces somehow didn't stop Flux and I from turning a normal photo booth into an automated sex machine.


Here's me with Nefaria, who I spent the first half of SG Prom licking edible body oils off of. In case you aren't familiar with Nefaria, you should be jealous.


There are a lot of things Flux and I were suppose to do together during SG Prom. One of them was to save at least one rec center from being shut down by developers with nothing but dance. Another was to sing a Ying Yang Twins song during karaoke. When it became obvious that this particular establishment had none, we settled for anything rap. When it was later revealed that they didn't have any rap that wasn't Beastie Boys, we were left with no choice: Destiny's Child's Survivor.

I love the body language coming from Lil Tuffy while we sing our hearts out about not giving up.