i think i'm gonna join the army
Dave: [pulling out a fortune cookie slip] "You will go on a journey, happy long time." "You got peanut butter in my chocolate. You got chocolate in my peanut butter. Together they taste like crap." "Matthew has been staring at me all day... and I like it." I don't think I get this one, it says, "I try to be good hard-worker-man, but refrigemater so...
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oooaaa
i dunno what to write in these damn updates anymore. can i have some help please?
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penelopelee:
you were there for like 5 mins before you were like, "damn. you're a psycho bitch. i'm out, yo." and then i smashed my cell phone in half and made out with my enemy. there's going to be no shenanigans this year. i'm old and crabby.
penelopelee:
which small girl? there were several.
from some anti-american rant i read on a messageboard
the first one i don't get--we're not rude, you fucking prick!--and i wish i fookin' looked like one of the Sweathogs but i don't. far from ugly really.
the second observation should be in fortune cookies. deep fried ones.
the first one i don't get--we're not rude, you fucking prick!--and i wish i fookin' looked like one of the Sweathogs but i don't. far from ugly really.
the second observation should be in fortune cookies. deep fried ones.
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coco:
Cosmetology school! Go me!
emperor_tane:
Wha???
Tane
Tane
hey
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dollface:
hello there darling!
dollface:
hello there darling!
FYI
5 de mayo IS NOT mexican independence day. cinco de mayo is celebrating when mexico's army fended off attacks from the french. when mexico declared independence from spain they soon ran into a lot of debt. when their creditor nations came to collect, mexico said, fuck off. but france was all "oh no you didn't!" and invaded to collect their money. the mexican army...
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5 de mayo IS NOT mexican independence day. cinco de mayo is celebrating when mexico's army fended off attacks from the french. when mexico declared independence from spain they soon ran into a lot of debt. when their creditor nations came to collect, mexico said, fuck off. but france was all "oh no you didn't!" and invaded to collect their money. the mexican army...
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digdug:
i guess all the durutti stuff is import. for some reason, i've been seeing it in the bins, so i just assumed that it had a recent domestic re-release. import prices sux.
digdug:
oh yeah, that was not me on tweekitten
in newark this crazy man offered to give me his wedding ring if i bought him a cheeseburger
oh dear, what rotten luck.
how'd you get your life back on track?
also, is it okay to make SARS jokes yet?
how'd you get your life back on track?
also, is it okay to make SARS jokes yet?
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demolitionkitten:
I think it's just you. But I thank you kindly anyway, sweets.
mrzablowdowski:
oh! me bethinks... "i gotta get my shit together."
<complain>
ugh
i think i have diabetes
i can't get it up
i can't sleep
i'm tired all the time
my cat's dying
</complain>
ugh
i think i have diabetes
i can't get it up
i can't sleep
i'm tired all the time
my cat's dying
</complain>
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chiquita:
insulin into your arm
viagra into your mouth
swift kick to your head
crack into your lungs
9th life magic into kitty.
p.s. miss you
viagra into your mouth
swift kick to your head
crack into your lungs
9th life magic into kitty.
p.s. miss you
bettietwoguns:
hey tootsie
sorry about the kitty
sorry about the kitty
haha. nerve.com said they're publishing my personal in some partner publication. so be on the look out 
coco:
niiiiiice.
emperor_tane:
Coolness defines you....... yes!!
Tane
Tane
oh, a poem.
grandma flows into duane reade
next to the moon bright bottles of bleach
and bundles of brawn she slips
with a slow gymnists split
her hair hits a protruding shelf
breaking forth a sticky jam that soaks spilled merchandise
a dark teenager speaks a profanity
and walks to get a mop
grandma flows into duane reade
next to the moon bright bottles of bleach
and bundles of brawn she slips
with a slow gymnists split
her hair hits a protruding shelf
breaking forth a sticky jam that soaks spilled merchandise
a dark teenager speaks a profanity
and walks to get a mop