Was reading Post Secret today and came upon this secret. It is also mine. It doesn't hurt as bad as it used to, but it still hurts. November 27 2013. Incidentally, the same date I lost my virginity on, so many years ago.
I'm sorry I haven't been active on here lately. I'm a fucking mess. Cheated on the best man I've ever met, subsequently broke up, though he wanted to try and work things out. Dated the guy I cheated with for two months. He treated me like utter garbage. Was raped at a bar. All I can think is that I deserve it. I deserve to be treated like a stupid whore after what I've done.
Now I'm just being melodramatic. Started doing drugs again, to ease the pain, I guess. It's been affecting my work. I cost the restaurant over 1000$ and almost ruined someone's wedding this weekend. I need to get my head straight. I don't know how. I'm so scared.
I need to go to work now. I need a hobby that isn't self destructive. Any suggestions? Remember that I am a chef, and thus my work hours are very high and I'm always working over both lunch/dinner and on weekends. It seems the only way to fill my time and the huge gaping hole in my life is drugs/alcohol/sex.
Help. Please.
