CHARLES DEXTER WARD SAYS
I'm in a much much colder part of the world now but fortunately the heat in my building makes it feel like New Orleans in August. You will be interested to know that my male appendage froze off early last week and I was just about to ship it to Sicily via priority mail (so that she could add it to...
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I'm in a much much colder part of the world now but fortunately the heat in my building makes it feel like New Orleans in August. You will be interested to know that my male appendage froze off early last week and I was just about to ship it to Sicily via priority mail (so that she could add it to...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
hellzapoppin', bitches.
this is it for a while. i'm skipping town - and when i get to where i'm headed i will be a transformed man:
my boa will be pink, motherfuckers.
during my chrysalis i request that you pretend that i have been brutally assassinated - and that you leave for me here your saltiest obituaries. they will be scoffed at with...
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this is it for a while. i'm skipping town - and when i get to where i'm headed i will be a transformed man:
my boa will be pink, motherfuckers.
during my chrysalis i request that you pretend that i have been brutally assassinated - and that you leave for me here your saltiest obituaries. they will be scoffed at with...
Read More
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
sicily:
i hope your dick fell off.
sicily:
in the cold cold arctic snow...severed and blue. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
The fact that comments to my journal start with things like:
"You most certainly may NOT shit in my skull"
makes me happy beyond words.
It's what's referred to in the industry as the payoff.
Muchas Smoochas, fuckers!!!
"You most certainly may NOT shit in my skull"
makes me happy beyond words.
It's what's referred to in the industry as the payoff.
Muchas Smoochas, fuckers!!!
VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
deckwreck:
hmm well thanks, but i don't know if "darling" woud be the adjective i'd use to describe us... certainly, if you saw us in action, you'd probably lean more towards "obnoxious" or "retarded," most likely think we were the "biggest dorks you've ever seen (any argument to the contrary is automatically trumped by the matching crysknife tattoos)," and then probably follow it with a robust "goddamn kids today!!!"
heh.
heh.
flux:
so i'm "down to earth," eh? EAT MY STEAK OF DESTRUCTION.
i'll try to make it tonight!
i'll try to make it tonight!
boy
you
just
a
stupid
bitch
and
girl
you
just
a
no
good
dick.
you
just
a
stupid
bitch
and
girl
you
just
a
no
good
dick.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
suicidesmitty:
doublemint cock.
I am a bitch, who told ya?
I am a bitch, who told ya?
sicily:
caretaker!?! hmmmmmmm...i think you are going to die a slow and miserable death, for i have gnawed through my leash and escaped! HAHAHAHAHAHA, i have mean, nasty little plans for you. chicken claws. removal of eye socket. one less testical....hee hee hee la la la LAAAA
ha ha ha
ha ha ha
....my turkey cock is ragged from so much fucking.
....from now on please call me turkeycockmegistus.
....anyone got any clove oil?
....from now on please call me turkeycockmegistus.
....anyone got any clove oil?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sicily:
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!! MY VAGINA FELL OFF!!!!. i soaked it in clove oil to heal the bruises (just like you said), but, it just dissintegrated...now it is nothing but a bloody gash 
please help.
[Edited on Dec 10, 2003 12:52AM]
please help.[Edited on Dec 10, 2003 12:52AM]
sicily:
noope.
dead. sober.
btw, your anus is bleeding
dead. sober.
btw, your anus is bleeding
IN CASE ANYONE WAS WONDERING,
SG-Sicily smells like putrefied walrus dick.
And WHY, you ask?
Ask her yourself.
SG-Sicily smells like putrefied walrus dick.
And WHY, you ask?
Ask her yourself.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
sicily:
sorry guys. i killed trismegistus.
hee hee hee. twas a delightful bbq!
hee hee hee. twas a delightful bbq!
naja_haje:
*snif*
smells more like a ferret infested blow hole.
but that's just me.
*snif* *snif*
and you smell like a gangrenous manatee ass.
smells more like a ferret infested blow hole.
but that's just me.
*snif* *snif*
and you smell like a gangrenous manatee ass.
i'm flying to chicago in 8 hours to have family fucking funtime with my fucking family.
don't choke on any wishbones, retards.
don't choke on any wishbones, retards.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
fuji:
penis lines. they terminate at the penis. *drools*
no one can know about the 58.5 hours, though. its way too hot. very dangerous.
no one can know about the 58.5 hours, though. its way too hot. very dangerous.
suicidesmitty:
As Fuji's psychiatrist, I need to ask you to stop taunting her with painful memories lest she ruin her conditional release by eating another man whole. She doesn't even stop to spit out the bones. She may look like a little peanut, but the girl's got a hunger like I've never seen.
Grasshopper: which irks you more, wrongness or inaneness?
Mantis: inanity is a much greater sin in the eyes of Entropy.
Grasshopper: i see. wanna make out like hardcore?
Mantis: inanity is a much greater sin in the eyes of Entropy.
Grasshopper: i see. wanna make out like hardcore?
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
juliana:
:::CHOMP:::
(don't think "love bite", or anything as inane as that...
... think Cape Fear)
(don't think "love bite", or anything as inane as that...
... think Cape Fear)
black_tar_heroin:
the one with Marky Mark 
39 F.
79% humidity.
Overcast.
Slight wind.
I fucking love this weather.
And if you have a problem with it I personally invite you to go get yourself fucked in the ass by the millennia-old goat god aka Pan.
79% humidity.
Overcast.
Slight wind.
I fucking love this weather.
And if you have a problem with it I personally invite you to go get yourself fucked in the ass by the millennia-old goat god aka Pan.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
black_tar_heroin:
and i would respect the fuck out of you
sicily:
what?! you have a fucking problem with flying squirrels?!?
okay, maybe they only vaguely amuse me...
okay, maybe they only vaguely amuse me...
Poetry Wednesday eh?
Here are two poems I wrote about Jesus of Nazareth getting fucked in the ass by Pan the goat god.
1.
Pan, Pan,
he aims to please us.
I once saw that bastard
buggering old Jesus.
2.
A sitcom older
than Ozzie and Harriet:
J-Bob getting Pan'd
by Jackson Iscariot.
Here are two poems I wrote about Jesus of Nazareth getting fucked in the ass by Pan the goat god.
1.
Pan, Pan,
he aims to please us.
I once saw that bastard
buggering old Jesus.
2.
A sitcom older
than Ozzie and Harriet:
J-Bob getting Pan'd
by Jackson Iscariot.
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
madigan:
I've come to the realization there just aren't enough crazy people in this town, and if there are, they must be hiding under rocks or at Wendy's.
The restaurant does, however, attract the attention of one of these crazy people and no, it's not by cunning use of shiny objects -- though the antique decor might say otherwise. It was there long before! Many moons ago when we had the fuckawful karaoke, she would scurry onstage to sing 'THRILLER' in the most monotone voice while gettin' down with her bad self. It was a sight to see yet I still wanted to claw my eyes out. Yes, Marilyn is a drunk and her smell still goes unrivaled. She often wears outrageous hats, Austin 3:16 t-shirts, and shouts "Hell Yeah!" (but we encouraged it, tee hee). One night after work, my sister and I spotted Marilyn speaking to a street sign.
The restaurant does, however, attract the attention of one of these crazy people and no, it's not by cunning use of shiny objects -- though the antique decor might say otherwise. It was there long before! Many moons ago when we had the fuckawful karaoke, she would scurry onstage to sing 'THRILLER' in the most monotone voice while gettin' down with her bad self. It was a sight to see yet I still wanted to claw my eyes out. Yes, Marilyn is a drunk and her smell still goes unrivaled. She often wears outrageous hats, Austin 3:16 t-shirts, and shouts "Hell Yeah!" (but we encouraged it, tee hee). One night after work, my sister and I spotted Marilyn speaking to a street sign.
juliana:
it's also hot when you get pissed off.
Recently we had a lady squatting in the front yard of the duplex next door. My roomates and i think she was selling stolen goods out of her tent. Apparently one of the tenants 'sub-rented' his apartment while he did jail time. One of the 'sub-renters' was in an accident and had a nasty leg wound. Since she could not work they couldn't pay rent. Her boyfriend decided this was the perfect time to say "You're on your own, bitch. I'm outta here."
Now that's love.