Ask Sicily, fucker!! (i am flux's twin tumor)

so, i'm only doing this because one of our very own sg members has a wretched case of the clap, and he said a 'sicily advice column' is the only thing that might possibly help cure his burning member. that, and he's also threatened to slip anthrax into my tea when i'm not looking...

so, bring it on bitches!

p.s. don't expect anything fluffy and nice outta me. i'm not yur goddamn therapist...okay, lovely.

[Edited on Oct 12, 2004 by Sicily]

...but i thought you put the soap back in your asshole, where it belongs! you might want to double check, 'cause an irish spring colonic isn't as pretty as it might sound.

shit! i was just fucking around with this aids infested voodoo doll...ummm sorry, i'll just go ahead and remove that syringe now...

maybe you should take a trip to the congo and get gang-banged by a group of sexually frustrated orangutans. or perhaps ya might want to hit the crack pipe...

the weather is fucking lovely...my chia pet froze to death this morning.

you don't. sicily does not condone the licking of chia pets due to an unpleasant memory of watching her rabid grandpappi lick her first beloved chia pet to death.

you can lick my ass, but it's best to keet the 'cribbers' questions to yourself...

MOST DEFINATELY! in fact, it's a lovely way to start your day...baby kicking and a bran muffin! delightful!

a butter knife....on shit, i forgot, with that little pea head of yurs, i'm sure tweezers 'll do the trick!

adorning one's self with cling wrap does not necessarily make them attractive...perhaps a new perm and a pair of lesbian hiking boots 'll spice up your image.

a dead ferret and a used condom

'fuckass' was brutally raped by a drunk swan this evening...i think he's floating naked in a river somewhere...

FANTASTIC! even better (if yur really feeling lazy), just slip a bit 'o rat poisen in her iced tea...that'll take care of her for good (just in case she was planning on breeding again...)