Chavos / Corfu - My report from the frontline (written 3/9)
Well what a disaster , what was supposed to be a nice treat for my girlfriends birthday has turned into a thoroughly miserable time for us both , making me feel pretty lousy in the process for subjecting her to it.
Where to start ? everything that can can go wrong has gone wrong. First off when booking the resort / hotel in Kavos there was absolutely no mention on the website that place was aimed solely at clubbers , I don't know maybe it is widely known among people who like that culture but to the uneducated soul such as myself it should be made clear so that you don't make the mistake of booking a holiday here if this isn't for you...something that First Choice holidays didn't do.
The website promised 'peaceful surroundings' ...what a fucking lie. I haven't had more than four hours sleep a night in Kavos (or Chavos as I shall now christen it) due to baboons in the room surrounding us who only seem to be able to communicate using the word ' FOOK' , there is noise and fighting to the early hours. The rep is some braindead screechy tart who is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard (she also presented us with an updated description of the resort that I hadn't seen when we tried to complain
) . The only excursions she offered in Chavos involved drinking and vomiting , there is no mention of any of the areas history. I know its not to everyones taste but it would be nice to at least have the option to experience it if we want to.
Am I sounding like some miserable old git here?
Everything remotely Greek seems to have been strangled and pushed out of the area to make way for fake British pubs and cafes that screen 'Eastenders' on big screens for the braindead masses who are to scared too leave there culture behind for one week. I don't know about you but I go on holiday to experience something different.
I mean you have to travel for miles to find somewhere that serves real authentic Greek food and not burgers , chips and beans.
There seems to be a real air of weary resentment from some of the locals for having to rely on boozy Brits to keep there business afloat , but we found if we did take the trouble to show an interest and chat to them about themselves and there culture they turned out to be friendly people who brightened our days.
Along with them the few positive memories of the week (some good views , good food , nice beach , boat trip) involved travelling miles to get to , and they were usually followed by something disasterous like being chased by big dogs or facing nightmarish hikes across jagged rocks in the blazing sun for hours.
And don't get me started on the fucking insects , nearly all our euros have been spent on mosquitoe sprays , creams , candles , plug ins ...you name it. The doctor has been called out several times to administer injections to my poor suffering Le who turns out is allergic to mosquitoe bites. We are both in itchy agony , im burnt to a crisp with sunburn and my face and feet look like a galaxy of bites and it actually hurts to walk very far... and im confined to my room like a vampire for fear the 90 degree temperatures will aggravate my burns . I only come out at night .. and i've picked up a cough too to top it all off.
I hope to experience the real Greece someday not this personality free itchy hellhole. I tried to stay positive but this place has slowly worn me down , I feel disappointed and cheated wasting my money (they wouldn't even let us escape early... no flights home till September 12th) , but thankfully my sentence is coming to an end only 2 more days left and im free , I don't think i'll ever be so glad to see London.
Hey , you learn from these things I guess but after this week I think there there is going to be 2 people in need of an emergency stay in a 5 star hotel and some pretty major pampering.
At least im not in New Orleans , I thank myself lucky for that. It still was one of the most stressful holidays i've ever had and I think there are defintely some justifiable complaints to be made .
But anyway im knackered , so this is Barry signing off.
[Todays Playlist - The Rolling Stones / A Bigger Bang]
Well what a disaster , what was supposed to be a nice treat for my girlfriends birthday has turned into a thoroughly miserable time for us both , making me feel pretty lousy in the process for subjecting her to it.
Where to start ? everything that can can go wrong has gone wrong. First off when booking the resort / hotel in Kavos there was absolutely no mention on the website that place was aimed solely at clubbers , I don't know maybe it is widely known among people who like that culture but to the uneducated soul such as myself it should be made clear so that you don't make the mistake of booking a holiday here if this isn't for you...something that First Choice holidays didn't do.
The website promised 'peaceful surroundings' ...what a fucking lie. I haven't had more than four hours sleep a night in Kavos (or Chavos as I shall now christen it) due to baboons in the room surrounding us who only seem to be able to communicate using the word ' FOOK' , there is noise and fighting to the early hours. The rep is some braindead screechy tart who is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard (she also presented us with an updated description of the resort that I hadn't seen when we tried to complain
) . The only excursions she offered in Chavos involved drinking and vomiting , there is no mention of any of the areas history. I know its not to everyones taste but it would be nice to at least have the option to experience it if we want to.
Am I sounding like some miserable old git here?
Everything remotely Greek seems to have been strangled and pushed out of the area to make way for fake British pubs and cafes that screen 'Eastenders' on big screens for the braindead masses who are to scared too leave there culture behind for one week. I don't know about you but I go on holiday to experience something different.
I mean you have to travel for miles to find somewhere that serves real authentic Greek food and not burgers , chips and beans.
There seems to be a real air of weary resentment from some of the locals for having to rely on boozy Brits to keep there business afloat , but we found if we did take the trouble to show an interest and chat to them about themselves and there culture they turned out to be friendly people who brightened our days.
Along with them the few positive memories of the week (some good views , good food , nice beach , boat trip) involved travelling miles to get to , and they were usually followed by something disasterous like being chased by big dogs or facing nightmarish hikes across jagged rocks in the blazing sun for hours.
And don't get me started on the fucking insects , nearly all our euros have been spent on mosquitoe sprays , creams , candles , plug ins ...you name it. The doctor has been called out several times to administer injections to my poor suffering Le who turns out is allergic to mosquitoe bites. We are both in itchy agony , im burnt to a crisp with sunburn and my face and feet look like a galaxy of bites and it actually hurts to walk very far... and im confined to my room like a vampire for fear the 90 degree temperatures will aggravate my burns . I only come out at night .. and i've picked up a cough too to top it all off.
I hope to experience the real Greece someday not this personality free itchy hellhole. I tried to stay positive but this place has slowly worn me down , I feel disappointed and cheated wasting my money (they wouldn't even let us escape early... no flights home till September 12th) , but thankfully my sentence is coming to an end only 2 more days left and im free , I don't think i'll ever be so glad to see London.
Hey , you learn from these things I guess but after this week I think there there is going to be 2 people in need of an emergency stay in a 5 star hotel and some pretty major pampering.
At least im not in New Orleans , I thank myself lucky for that. It still was one of the most stressful holidays i've ever had and I think there are defintely some justifiable complaints to be made .
But anyway im knackered , so this is Barry signing off.
[Todays Playlist - The Rolling Stones / A Bigger Bang]
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
hahahahahaha
dave says its up there with series 2 as one of his favourites too.
sorry to hear youre sick though
you need to get some echinacea in ya!