I am at a very anti social period in my life right now.Tonight I went out and was hanging out with friends at this club called moonday (it just sounds hippy its actually sorta a fetish club) and I felt so alone.How can i feel alone in a crowded place so often.My friends are great because they kept introducing me to people and what not but as soon as they left I sunk back into the wall.I have become so shy in my old age I dont know what the deal is.It was like when I was younger I was pretty out going.Oh well enough of that rant.
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I guess I am destined to be a dork for ever, and never a hipster with something cool and interesting to say.
I also find that now, more than ever it is very important for me to have a great deal of "personal space" it seems that becasue of this I have aleanated the few only friends I had left after the post college purge. Where as once I thought it was great to have a "posse" I find that it just steals too much of my energy that I need to reserve for my own life.
They call, I screen, they call and e-mail, I dont answer.
They stop calling.
I am past the lonely stage, I kind of like it. I do feel bad.
But for once I am looking out for myself.
I dunno.