Confusion is in my mind. Maybe i think to much.... probably so. even thought i dont tend to be a thinker. Im smart, but i like to live life to the fullest so i jump into things. (Which by no means is LIVING life to its fullest, but it helps me experience things that i woulndt normally have seen or done) Like this move back to Florida.... It will be good for me in the long run, i truly believe. But as i will be coming there straight from iraq, i dont have a job, no place to stay, and only an idea of what i am going to do.
And than there is this wonderfully perfect girl (in a sense) that i love with all of my heart and she loves me the same. But is it for the best, i dont know. There are so many unanswered questions that i have and being in iraq, i cant exaclty ask in person and judge by body language, as that is the best way for me to find out the truth in someone heart. i full believe that she is to good for me, but maybe that is why she is my match. Like i said i dont know and only time will tell along with the experience. Maybe my high school sweetheart and ex-fiancee will be the ONE (if there is such a thing)?
i dont know what im doing these last couple of years and i dont know if i ever will again. Which is how i like it right? Jumping into things and seeing what kind of excitment and new experiences i can make out of this game called LiFE.
I believe that the world is like a hologram in a sense. Your eyes take in light and convert it into what your mind THINKS it sees. So life is what you make it, is the point im trying to make i guess. But that is what i believe. Who am i to judge. Who are you to judge. I am not a judge, jury, or executioner. Im here to live in the best way possible that i see is fit for me and those around me. If i make a "bad" decision. I live with it. Without regret, sypathy, or remorse for my actions. What i did at the time of any action, i probably, at that time, saw was best. Life goes on. Even in death. Im not a "believer", but i believe in a spiritual "journey" happens after death that puts you in the best place that YOU make. No one else.
I love and hate everything around me.
More ramblings will follow i promise.
p.s. to all readers who give a fuck. Song of the week for me is by Iron Maiden called Number of the Beast. i heard a remake done by Djali Zwan that i love and has been THE song for me.
I lived alone, my mind was blank.
I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind.
What did I see, can I believe,
That what I saw that night was real
and not just fantasy.
Just what I saw, in my own dreams,
was a reflections of my warped mind
staring back at me.
'Cause in my dreams, its always there,
The evil face that twists my mind and brings
me to despair.
Night was black, was no use holding back,
'Cause I just had to see, was someone
watching me.
In the mist, dark figures move and twist,
Was all this for real, or just some kind of hell.
666 the number of the beast.
Hell and fire was born to be released.
Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised,
As they start to cry, hands held to the sky.
In the night, the fires are burning bright,
The ritual has begun, Satans work is done.
666 the number of the beast.
Sacrifice is going on tonight.
This cant go on, I must inform the law.
Can this still be real or just some crazy dream.
But I feel drawn towards the chanting hordes,
seem to mesmerise...cant avoid their eyes.
666 the number of the beast.
666 the one for you and me.
Im coming back, I will return,
And Ill possess your body and Ill make you burn.
I have the fire, I have the force.
I have the power to make my evil take its course.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
the last verse is dedicated to Michelle. Such a beauty. Such a sweetheat. Such a wonderfull person. I love you girl and always will no matter what happens betweens us. All your faults and imperfections make you perfect to me. Nothing will change. As will everything else.
And than there is this wonderfully perfect girl (in a sense) that i love with all of my heart and she loves me the same. But is it for the best, i dont know. There are so many unanswered questions that i have and being in iraq, i cant exaclty ask in person and judge by body language, as that is the best way for me to find out the truth in someone heart. i full believe that she is to good for me, but maybe that is why she is my match. Like i said i dont know and only time will tell along with the experience. Maybe my high school sweetheart and ex-fiancee will be the ONE (if there is such a thing)?
i dont know what im doing these last couple of years and i dont know if i ever will again. Which is how i like it right? Jumping into things and seeing what kind of excitment and new experiences i can make out of this game called LiFE.
I believe that the world is like a hologram in a sense. Your eyes take in light and convert it into what your mind THINKS it sees. So life is what you make it, is the point im trying to make i guess. But that is what i believe. Who am i to judge. Who are you to judge. I am not a judge, jury, or executioner. Im here to live in the best way possible that i see is fit for me and those around me. If i make a "bad" decision. I live with it. Without regret, sypathy, or remorse for my actions. What i did at the time of any action, i probably, at that time, saw was best. Life goes on. Even in death. Im not a "believer", but i believe in a spiritual "journey" happens after death that puts you in the best place that YOU make. No one else.
I love and hate everything around me.
More ramblings will follow i promise.
p.s. to all readers who give a fuck. Song of the week for me is by Iron Maiden called Number of the Beast. i heard a remake done by Djali Zwan that i love and has been THE song for me.
I lived alone, my mind was blank.
I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind.
What did I see, can I believe,
That what I saw that night was real
and not just fantasy.
Just what I saw, in my own dreams,
was a reflections of my warped mind
staring back at me.
'Cause in my dreams, its always there,
The evil face that twists my mind and brings
me to despair.
Night was black, was no use holding back,
'Cause I just had to see, was someone
watching me.
In the mist, dark figures move and twist,
Was all this for real, or just some kind of hell.
666 the number of the beast.
Hell and fire was born to be released.
Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised,
As they start to cry, hands held to the sky.
In the night, the fires are burning bright,
The ritual has begun, Satans work is done.
666 the number of the beast.
Sacrifice is going on tonight.
This cant go on, I must inform the law.
Can this still be real or just some crazy dream.
But I feel drawn towards the chanting hordes,
seem to mesmerise...cant avoid their eyes.
666 the number of the beast.
666 the one for you and me.
Im coming back, I will return,
And Ill possess your body and Ill make you burn.
I have the fire, I have the force.
I have the power to make my evil take its course.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
the last verse is dedicated to Michelle. Such a beauty. Such a sweetheat. Such a wonderfull person. I love you girl and always will no matter what happens betweens us. All your faults and imperfections make you perfect to me. Nothing will change. As will everything else.