tragic_kat

I have some editing to do, but this is my first go-round with this. First of many go-rounds.



So you see, there she was, this girl. I saw her all the time. You just know who she is and I knew who she was. I knew her friends, the people that weren't friends but they all bought each other drinks all the time. She was different. She was brave, she would look you in the eye and smile, and turn her back to you. She danced, too, she and this other girl. No one would dance with them, everyone watched. Occasionally a faceless pretty girl would think that she could do better. I watched this girl for months. She smiled at me a lot, spoke a little. But someone always wanted her more. Different people, women or men, pretty or not so good-looking, someone always wanted her more than I did. I thought so anyway. It wasn't slutty that she was always with a different guy all the time, it was like it was all she could give. This girl had this face, that you'd never forget. You want your children to have her face, she's that kind of girl. She makes you want to knock her up. You want to keep her to yourself. But she was so damn crazy, it was hard. Old or young, able or slow, no one seemed to catch a hold of her. So elusive...men write songs about people like her. You want to hold her and claim her and be all over her in front of everyone else, but I knew that wasn't her. She'd give it go for a while, but the next day, or week...she couldn't be tied down. She was so alive, wicked alive, that watching her was good enough. I just watched her dance and drink and talk and scream and love and hate. There are people, women better looking than her, and you really wouldn't want anyone smarter, but they're out there, and if she drank any more than she did she'd have a problem, and sometimes she smoked and it wasn't attractive. There's taller, prettier, bigger, smarter. But there's nothing better than this girl. I'm old now, I've got my life, but I think about her. How she's living. What she does. Who she loves. I saw her love a few times, stay with one guy. They were idoits to leave her, let her go. But she did demolish their stuff and say horrible things. She could be a real bitch. She wasn't big at all, but she'd scare you. So loud sometimes.
There was this girl and I wanted to make her mine but I was nervous. I would've never let her go. But that's what they all said, and they said she was too much. I wanted her so bad, I couldn't stand it. So maybe one day I'll see her again and make her mine. I'll just tag along her life...go where she goes...that would be okay. You just had to do what she told you, she wasn't spoiled, never expected anything.
If she had known how beautiful she was, how alive she was, she would've never taken the time for this town. Everyone loved her. People fell in love with her. I did.