toiletooth

tonight i walked for miles through woods and the biggest graveyard ever. i looked for ghosts. none. mable decided to start acting like someone was in the trees and it freaked me out, especially when i heard a long moan that scooby doo wouldn't like. in the dark, in a cemetary, alone, just me and a dog. i couldn't stop walking. things have been extremely hard lately, but i am doing all these great things for myself. deciding to stay away from bars, deciding to buy logic pro for a fucking thousand dollars. excited about that. my goal is to be performing by summer or maybe sooner, stay away from distractions with boobs, and trying to get into a multimedia design school, cos i've always wanted to do that. spending a lot of time with music and mable, feeling ok but very confused.
the scariest thing was when i was about home again, all of a sudden i heard not another moan, but the most terrifying ghoul yell from someplace i couldn't locate. mable just stared. i just stopped and waited for another one, but none came.
found my friend david cho, and might go visit him in seattle. haven't had a vacation for 6 years. that is pathetic.
but things are looking up, aside from this broken heart.
believe in the you of now.
oldschool sent me this:

Once someone learning archery faced the target holding two arrows
the teacher said " Beginners should not hold two arrows, because counting on the second arrow results in carelessness with the first."
"Each time, determine that you will settle the matter with just one arrow, without the worry about wether or not you will succeed."
"When people practice art, they always think they will have another chance to try again, so they are not aware of the slackness in their minds at the moment."
"It is very difficult to work in the immediacy of the moment...."


-Yoshida Kenko



and that is exactly what i am doing.
that's it.