Things have become quite odd for me in the past few weeks. I'm not sure how to explain the weirdness either. I'll try to make some sense of it here.
First, my grandmother on my dad's side died last week, which led to myself and my brother going to Roswell, NM, which is a hellhole, to spend a weekend with a family that neither he or I have had any contact with in 7 years and that I hadn't had any contact with for 12 years prior to that. Yes, that includes our father. So, awkwardness was the watchword on the trip to NM. However, the rest of the oddness stems from that trip too, I think. To be honest, I'm not sure what the fuck is going on with me.
While in NM, my cousins, my brother, my father and I went out to a local bar/restaurant to drink and eat and be merry. While there my father picked up our waitress, who couldn't have been more than 21 years old. To put that in perspective, he's 57, I'm turning 27 in a few months, and I don't think my level of uncomfortableness could possibly have gotten higher. But then the stuff I can't explain started happening.
One of my NM cousins had brought her best friend out with us. This friend, though having a very convincing fake ID, had admitted to me that she was 19 years old. Also, this is the type of girl that I don't have a chance at on a normal day. She is 5 foot 3 or so and gorgeous. I'm not the guy who pulls this girl, I never have been, but as the night wore on I began to realize that a sympathy can make an average guy much more attractive. So, she and I headed back to her apartment and things were progressing nicely when I had a flash of me at 57, just like my dad, trying to pick up women that are younger than I am now and bouncing from failed marriage to failed marriage and meaningless sex to meaningless sex. Then, I did something I never thought I could possibly do. I had a beautiful woman wearing damn near nothing on my lap and I stopped and told her that I needed to leave. I explained why, as best as I could, and she seemed to understand, but I'm still confused, to say the least.
Ok, that's just rambling dumb shit, but after talking to my good friends upon returning, it has been determined that somewhere along the line the commitmentphobic Tanner has become the guy who doesn't want to bounce from meaningless sex to more meaningless sex. It really isn't a fun conclusion to come to.
First, my grandmother on my dad's side died last week, which led to myself and my brother going to Roswell, NM, which is a hellhole, to spend a weekend with a family that neither he or I have had any contact with in 7 years and that I hadn't had any contact with for 12 years prior to that. Yes, that includes our father. So, awkwardness was the watchword on the trip to NM. However, the rest of the oddness stems from that trip too, I think. To be honest, I'm not sure what the fuck is going on with me.
While in NM, my cousins, my brother, my father and I went out to a local bar/restaurant to drink and eat and be merry. While there my father picked up our waitress, who couldn't have been more than 21 years old. To put that in perspective, he's 57, I'm turning 27 in a few months, and I don't think my level of uncomfortableness could possibly have gotten higher. But then the stuff I can't explain started happening.
One of my NM cousins had brought her best friend out with us. This friend, though having a very convincing fake ID, had admitted to me that she was 19 years old. Also, this is the type of girl that I don't have a chance at on a normal day. She is 5 foot 3 or so and gorgeous. I'm not the guy who pulls this girl, I never have been, but as the night wore on I began to realize that a sympathy can make an average guy much more attractive. So, she and I headed back to her apartment and things were progressing nicely when I had a flash of me at 57, just like my dad, trying to pick up women that are younger than I am now and bouncing from failed marriage to failed marriage and meaningless sex to meaningless sex. Then, I did something I never thought I could possibly do. I had a beautiful woman wearing damn near nothing on my lap and I stopped and told her that I needed to leave. I explained why, as best as I could, and she seemed to understand, but I'm still confused, to say the least.
Ok, that's just rambling dumb shit, but after talking to my good friends upon returning, it has been determined that somewhere along the line the commitmentphobic Tanner has become the guy who doesn't want to bounce from meaningless sex to more meaningless sex. It really isn't a fun conclusion to come to.
Re: our Jayhawks-- my brother and I got tickets for the Nebraska game and went as a memorial/tribute for my mom. Our 'Hawks slipped a couple games because their biggest fan died, but we went to Allen Fieldhouse, brought her spirit, and well . . . you can see the results.
My uncle (father's side, but has known my mother for years and years) told me after the Missouri game that, "Where she is, the 'Hawks won those games by a point."
Thanks for the comment.