timeoftheeclipse

ready for more???
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the tongue that cannot speak
the mind that will not think
lungs that refuse to breathe
a soul that defies time
love was once,
but never again
with the loss of time
and nothing to regain
__________________________

broken down
and cast aside
nwanted
unloved
these things
so deep down inside
emerging
after years of silence
the way i feel
magnified
by the cracked and hoarse voice
unused for a thousand lifetimes
with each beat of my heart
new blood surges
and with it
flows the love and pain
of an eternity
__________________________

words were never hollow
kisses always mattered
how is this happening?
the words she spoke were true
of this i have no doubt
so why?
ive never felt as happy
as when i was with her
through all the miles
and all the nights apart
she filled me
in a way i never knew
and she still does
but now...
the warmth i get from her
is joined by a feeling of dread
that this is closer to being over
than i ever thought it could be
she has her life to live
and make herself happy
but why cant she do it
with me?
(10/11/04, 11:58 AM)
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i love you
never believe less than that
you have become my life
so quickly
so unexpectedly
weve fought through the distance
so why is being so near
scaring you so much?
i love you
i have never spoken truer words
the ways the hours stretched forever
yet seemed like minutes
when we were together
made me complete in a way i never thought
but now
without you
i have nothing left of myself
except what i am
i gave you everything i could
but it wasnt enough
(10/11/04, 12:03PM)
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theres no angel to come and save me
no saving grace to set me free
everything that waits for me
is there only for me
on the brink of fading away
opportunities only last so long
but dreams can last forever
in the august of my youth
i realize that its not 'now or never'
its only now, always now
time exists for us to use
or us to waste
its all up to us
(8/23/02, 2:30AM)
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midnight waits
like a scared child
behind doors
and around corners
but when it finally comes
all the fears
and all the doubts
that left me with the morning
come back to me
in streams and rivers
flooding me with
a sense of doubt
but also
a sense of urgency
that a drought is coming
and to prepare my soul
for the wastelands of time
(8/23/02, 2:35AM)
__________________________

i nearly lost you there
on that one lonely night
in that one painful instant
although i never really had you
but i wanted to
and i nearly lost you
__________________________

i saw her standing there
and as i watched her
i dreamt of a room
fresh with wet paint
a blue shade of grey
and we were there together
both of us naked
and i could read her thoughts
i knew every image that went through her mins
as if i had willed it to be there
we covered each other with paint
and then made love
feeling each other
becoming one
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these are the days i long for most
when the sky is gray
and the wind blows hard
the days when i am reminded
of being a child
and sitting on the church steps
dreaming of growing up
now
while the air is beautiful
and it smells like rain
i sit on the steps of my house
remembering the times
that made being young
something i wish i could do again
and as i sit
and feel the wind on my face
i am young again
for just an instant
and all the struggles in life
are worth it
__________________________

i love you all
-m