tomorrow is my girls birthday
she also leaves for england tomorrow
she will be gone for three weeks
i know it sounds crazy, considering we are long distance anyway, but im going to miss her more hwile shes gone.
i love her so

other things are looking up, plans are begening to take shape.
not very much of a shape yet, but a shape nonetheless
im going to chake off this funk ive been in for so long
my life here isnt flfilling me the way it should be, so its time to make some changes.
i need to get back into therapy, to help me deal wit my irrational mind and my sometimes almost manic depressive behavior.
i need something new.
and i have two choices.
i am either going to go back to school, or finally move to portland.
im leaning towards moving.
portland has been calling to me for years, and i always said i was going to move their. and when i didnt, it kinda killed a little bit of my spirit.
so thats what i think im going to do.
also, portland is kind of in one of the major american wine hubs... the willamette valley. i could go get a job with some wine makers i know and my life would be so much better.

im scared of this, but not really. maybe more nervous. and excited
expect big changes from me in the next six months to a year

no matter what,
i still loveyou all
-m