theseadog

Steve's Journal
Read it, or die trying


News
There's a rumor going around the interweb that I am never logged on. I have, in fact, developed a computer program which will update my journal for me, thereby giving the apearance that I was here. Well, to those who would doubt me in that I do occasionaly find the time to update, I say to you the following. Could a computer program do this?

Ha! No mere computer program could ever understand the complex intricacies of a series of 1's and 0's. So I guess I blew that theory out of the water, didn't I?

Aparently, today was "crazy hat day" at work. Which baffled me. I was not aware that any institution beyond primary school partook in such events. So I put a small box on my head. When Ronnette asked about it, I told her that it was really my home. She seems to think I'm joking.

In other news, I just did laundry today. Plus I shaved for the first time in two weeks. Clean clothes, clean body, clean shave. Damn, I'm so hot right now. Downright sexy I'd say. Hell, I'd totally do me. In fact, I would right now, but I'm at work in the lab, and my employers frown upon contaminating specimens. I don't need any questions on why the blood of a disfigured 82 year old patient tested positive for being downright sexy.

What? Don't give me that look. You didn't know we could test for sexy? Well who are you going to believe, those wacky, newfangled books of yours, or me, the guy who works at the lab, and would never ever lie to you? Because seriously, I would never even dream of deceiving you. Ever. My left nipple fires lazer beams. Seriously.

Moving on.

My brother is still a member. See? I make link! So good job Zach. Way to be. If anybody's wondering why the kid's not too active, I should warn you, he goes to school during the day, and he's in charge of the store he works at, because the owners are lazy and dumb and lazy again. Plus he's got one o' them "life" thingies I've heard so much about. I never did bother to get myself one of those. It doesn't bother me though. For serious. It's not like I lay awake at night, thinking about getting one. Crying. And touching myself. Bad touch. Seriously, it's not like that at all.

More news? Hmmm, I'm not sure if I have any more news... Have I even reported any real news yet? Hang on, let me reread it.

No, aparently I didn't. Except for the nipple lazer. Yeah, that came as a shock to me too. And that store clerk. If he happens to be reading this, sorry about your brain dude. Bonus: Nipple lazer seems to fire at the perfect temperature to warm a burrito.


FOTD
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!!! Today's FOTD is everybody's favorite, TheLastBeliever ! You all know and love hime. Or at least you should. If you don't yet, then you should go and say hi. He's feeling a bit blue lately, which may be a kickass color, but as far as emotions go, it's not one he should have to put up with. Plus he's the guy who inspired me to change my journal format. Remember back when my journals didn't make any sense? Yeah, well, they still don't. But look! Managable formatting! I love my automatic journal updating software!


The Last Show I Watched

Invader Zim
Ok, so I haven't watched TV since my last update, but this show bares repeating. I can't believe it took me so long to see The Zim! Ahhh, awesomeness is good.

The Last Movie I Watched

Kung Fu Hustle
Twice. Dancing bad guys with axes fucking rock. If I were a bad guy (patience, someday soon my plans will come to fruition), I would totally be a dancing bad guy.... with an axe. How fucking radical would that be?! I'll tell you how radical! Too radical for words, man! So, I suppose I won't tell you how radical it is (it being too radical for words and all, thereby making it nigh impossible to convey its radicalness, given that my only current medium is indeed, words). So since I can't tell you, I suppose I'll have to show you. So close your eyes now. And I want you to picture me doing the radicalness dance. Now, this radicalness dance would rate about an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10, but I'm not stopping there, oh no. I'm doing the dance....with an axe! Not to mention clean clothes, clean skin, clean shave, and looking all sexy and shit. Long story longer... Go watch the fucking movie.

What I'm Listening To

The Reservoir Dogs Movie Soundtrack
And why, you might ask, am I listening to this? Because I saw Quentin yesterday. I was sitting at Starbucks here in Valencia yesterday, when I heard an elderly lady say, "Excuse me, are you Quentin Tarantino?" He told her he was, and she went into what a huge fan she was it was hilarious, because I was envisioning her at a rally outside one of his movies, protesting like an idiot with all of her friends, but secretly wanting to tear down the facade, rip off her outer garment, and reveal the "I ♥ Quentin" T-shirt that her confederates would scorn and disown her for. He ordered his beverage, and while he was waiting I said, "What's up Quentin?". He said hi, and I went back to reading. It was just as exciting as every other "star" I've met. Which is to say, not at all.

What I'm Reading
Same as last time, because I'm slow, and lack intelligence.

And Now...
Here's what the critics have to say about Kung Fu Hustle.

PS Lazer is cooler when you spell it with a 'z'.