wahhh! why cant i be perfect at everything? i have a very difficult time accepting when things i do dont turn out to be what i would judge as 'good'. then i get down on myself. i have to learn 1 - that what is DO is not who i AM and is not reflective of my value and 2 - not to base my opinion of myself on other people's opinions/expectations of me. easy to say and easy to think about in my head but a bit more of a challenge to actually embody it and live it at the mind-body level.
i did some yoga this morning. yeah! sinuses have improved enough that i could stand on my head. such relief. i have a hard time staying with myself though, becuase i feel as if i must be the perfect yogini and i keep getting sick and losing my flexibility right after i get it back again. so when im doing it i thinking about how much i suck. can you tell self-esteem is a serious problem for me? im getting sick of it - HA! sick of it, maybe thats the key. why am i getting sick all the time? cause i am sick of how some of my belief structures are seriously undermining my happiness. my dreams last night were reflective of this too.
so as i keep saying, i am not great with words on the copmputer but actually this journaling thing could be very therapeutic for me if i work with it and allow it to be so. maybe by articulating my inner world in this type of concrete form will help me manifest change within myself. i dont know. but for sure it may help me learn to trust the world a bit more. we shall see
random quote of the day, i will just open my book to a page and type whatever i see first. ready, set go - "'So Youre asking me if my thought creates God?'
'Yes'.
'I dont know'.
'Then let me pick it up from here and unravel it for you.'
'Please.'
'We're limited here by language and context, as I have explained now several times.'
'I understand that.'
'OKay. Your thought about God does not create God. It merely creates your experience of God.
God is.
God is the All-in-All. The Everything. All that ever was, is now, and ever will be.
So far, so good?'
'So far, so good.'
'When you think, you do not create the All. You reach into The All to create whatever experience of The All that you choose.
All of It is already there. You are not placing it there by thinking about it. Yet by thinking about it, you are placing in your experience that part of TheAll about which you are thinking.'"
i did some yoga this morning. yeah! sinuses have improved enough that i could stand on my head. such relief. i have a hard time staying with myself though, becuase i feel as if i must be the perfect yogini and i keep getting sick and losing my flexibility right after i get it back again. so when im doing it i thinking about how much i suck. can you tell self-esteem is a serious problem for me? im getting sick of it - HA! sick of it, maybe thats the key. why am i getting sick all the time? cause i am sick of how some of my belief structures are seriously undermining my happiness. my dreams last night were reflective of this too.
so as i keep saying, i am not great with words on the copmputer but actually this journaling thing could be very therapeutic for me if i work with it and allow it to be so. maybe by articulating my inner world in this type of concrete form will help me manifest change within myself. i dont know. but for sure it may help me learn to trust the world a bit more. we shall see
random quote of the day, i will just open my book to a page and type whatever i see first. ready, set go - "'So Youre asking me if my thought creates God?'
'Yes'.
'I dont know'.
'Then let me pick it up from here and unravel it for you.'
'Please.'
'We're limited here by language and context, as I have explained now several times.'
'I understand that.'
'OKay. Your thought about God does not create God. It merely creates your experience of God.
God is.
God is the All-in-All. The Everything. All that ever was, is now, and ever will be.
So far, so good?'
'So far, so good.'
'When you think, you do not create the All. You reach into The All to create whatever experience of The All that you choose.
All of It is already there. You are not placing it there by thinking about it. Yet by thinking about it, you are placing in your experience that part of TheAll about which you are thinking.'"
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Come on now, you are awesome and you should know this. You are right on in you observations, fuck what the world thinks, and when good enough for you is good enough, life is a breeze. Take this from a guy that has spent the majority of his life acting a fool so that expectations from the world were a lil less intense. I am nowhere near the intellectual level that the peeps in my friends list are, but I am indeed a handy mutha to have around in a bad situation. It dont make me less of a friend or person, you love me just the same. Admit it, you just love the lil old KoS
When you start getting down on yourself, just ask yourself this very important question...."could that dipshit KoS do any better?" Its guaranteed to make you feel better. Just kidding, just remind yourself that the person with the highest expectations is you really.
Your journal post was probably the best yet, very insightful to those of us that want to get to know you, thanks for that.
I am glad your sinuses are better; I hope they stay that way.
Much adoration...Tell DaLong hair I said hi.