I don't know who thought that reading off the name of EVERY person who got a graduate degree from UMass in the past year was a good idea, but it wasn't. Even my family, normally sticklers for protocol, decided it was too long and boring to listen names being read and people they didn't know walk across a stage for 2.5 hours (!) and sent an emissary to yell across the student seating to get my attention, causing me to crawl over 8 people to get out, decide that we'd have more fun if we were somewhere else, crawl back over 8 people to get my stuff from my seat, and crawl over 8 people one more time to get the hell out of the Mullins Center and on to lunch.
After that bore-fest, yesterday was spent driving back here from Amherst, hanging out with my parents, my grandmother, and her sister in my bedroom for an hour, taking my grandma and aunt to church while my parents (the bastards) took a nap, and going to Redbones where my grandmother tried to convince us all that she didn't like barbeque sandwiches, though she certainly does, has for at least the past 60 years, and has frequently told us all how much she likes them. She had french fries for dinner. After that we dropped in on boundcreature, who was, as always, delighted to see my family.
As usual, my grandmother was thrilled to see me, but disgusted at the squalor in which I am living. Which is to say, there is some dust in the corners, the woodwork hasn't been polished, the electronics haven't been dusted, the kitchen floor hasn't been swept this week, and the kitchen counters haven't been wiped down today.
Really, nothing can ever be clean enough for my grandma. I'm pretty sure she tried to wipe down the molding on our bathroom door while she was in there, and I am certain that she would have given the entire house a proper 2-day cleaning if she was in it for longer than an hour. She told boundcreature that we need some women to keep our houses clean, so if you're interested in pleasing my grandma, and/or implicitly sanctioning outdated and offensive gender stereotypes, let me know.
She did, after listening to me complain about the state of our cutlery, bring me some knives, though, so now I can use proper tools to chop/dice/mince vegetables instead of my previous two options: a steak knife or a bread knife. It should make many things better, not the least of which is that any tomatoes I eat can now be actually cut instead of squashed and torn. Which is good, 'cause I like tomatoes.
They were clearly a very nice set of knives in the 70s, when she got them for her 25th wedding anniversary: they came with a 25 year warranty. My grandfather being a butcher and her being an Italian housewife, they already had plenty of good knives in the house, and they sat in her attic for 28 years, never used. The upshot of them not seeing the light of day since the 70's is that the box is still in tact and I can share this absolutely incredible logo with you.
After that bore-fest, yesterday was spent driving back here from Amherst, hanging out with my parents, my grandmother, and her sister in my bedroom for an hour, taking my grandma and aunt to church while my parents (the bastards) took a nap, and going to Redbones where my grandmother tried to convince us all that she didn't like barbeque sandwiches, though she certainly does, has for at least the past 60 years, and has frequently told us all how much she likes them. She had french fries for dinner. After that we dropped in on boundcreature, who was, as always, delighted to see my family.
As usual, my grandmother was thrilled to see me, but disgusted at the squalor in which I am living. Which is to say, there is some dust in the corners, the woodwork hasn't been polished, the electronics haven't been dusted, the kitchen floor hasn't been swept this week, and the kitchen counters haven't been wiped down today.
Really, nothing can ever be clean enough for my grandma. I'm pretty sure she tried to wipe down the molding on our bathroom door while she was in there, and I am certain that she would have given the entire house a proper 2-day cleaning if she was in it for longer than an hour. She told boundcreature that we need some women to keep our houses clean, so if you're interested in pleasing my grandma, and/or implicitly sanctioning outdated and offensive gender stereotypes, let me know.
She did, after listening to me complain about the state of our cutlery, bring me some knives, though, so now I can use proper tools to chop/dice/mince vegetables instead of my previous two options: a steak knife or a bread knife. It should make many things better, not the least of which is that any tomatoes I eat can now be actually cut instead of squashed and torn. Which is good, 'cause I like tomatoes.
They were clearly a very nice set of knives in the 70s, when she got them for her 25th wedding anniversary: they came with a 25 year warranty. My grandfather being a butcher and her being an Italian housewife, they already had plenty of good knives in the house, and they sat in her attic for 28 years, never used. The upshot of them not seeing the light of day since the 70's is that the box is still in tact and I can share this absolutely incredible logo with you.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
felicia_____:
Is this just your way to try to trick me into giving you a pony? huh? because that ploy never works with me! 
felicia_____:
Perhaps our new robot overlords will give you an AI pony - if you beg.