thejuanupsman

I actually slept more than 4 hours last night. For the first time this month. Unfortunately it was not dreamless sleep. Normally I don't mind dreaming. I can usually lucid dream and in my dreams at least everything always seemed to go my way. But not lately.

Last night my dreams went through a roll call of all the people I have lost. My best friend from 4th grade who we all called Sonny because no one could pronounce his real name. His family moved back to India, we wrote back and forth for a while, then my letters started getting returned. I never found out if they just moved again or if something else happened. He was the first close friend I ever lost touch with.

My Aunt Sandy who died of lung cancer. She was the first person close to me who ever died. I never knew how vital she was to my family until she died. After she died my cousin Terry, Sandy's youngest son just disappeared. Terry was one of the coolest people I have ever met. I swear that the character Hyde on the 70's show was based on him. He was the first person who ever got me stoned. I never enjoyed it as much with anyone else. It has been 20 years since any of us have seen or heard from him. It kills me that Terry and my daughter have never met. They would have loved each other. Shit, writing this is getting to me. I need a smoke. More later.

Update 11:53 c.s.t
Managed to sleep another 2 hours. Now I have to go do the family birthday part thing. At my mother's. Not really looking forward to it. Talk to you all soon.