texax7

I am struggling with my emotions taking Klonplin is helping me cope. I am going to work. My therapist really was very angry for taking him back and not being stronger. She said where do you draw the line. He agreed to couples therapy. I just don't know if he can give me what I need. Which would mean I would have to leave him, and I don't know if I could do that as I love him so much that it is obviously hurting me. I wish I could say fuck you. I feel so connected to him though, and he was so abusive because he still isn't over my suicide attempt and the pain that caused him. He admitted it was no excuse. He is in LA now working, but said he was coming back for the weekend to spend time with me. I just hope that he wants this as much as I do and is willing for work for it as he must. Otherwise I will have to let go. I wish I could go into the hospital,l but I am not suicidal and I know that I have to keep my job. No one else will look after me I dont have any family. In buddhism they say pain is purification of the soul. So hopefully this is for a reason. I love everyone who reads this and posts, as it really helps me. I guess people have loved as intensely and done such stupid things, but I feel pretty alone.