tesa

I have come to realize I am a whole lot to handle.I mean I MUST be. Just ask one of my ex boyfriends. I seem to create an insane jealousy inside every person I date. I don't know why this is. I never stray from my lovers. I am completely smitten and devoted to them. But, for some reason, they like to take their insecurities out on me. I get punished for capturing the interest of others. These boyfriends of mine tell me they wanted me because I'm pretty and fun and have great energy and blah blah blah blah......Then when we start dating they tell me how stoked they are that I belong to them when everyone else in the room wants me. Then they get cocky. Then they get insecure and start to think I'll realize my effect on people and fuck everyone that wants me. I don't get it. It's like all the things that attract them to me in the first place are the same things that cause them to hate me in the end. And it ALWAYS ends. So I'm giving up on dating for a while....maybe forever. I don't need to be glorified and punished at the same time for the same thing. It's quite confusing.