temptfaith

i'm proud that america made the right choice. i'm disturbed that obama barely won the popular vote. how is it that we had huge voter turnout, and we are still nowhere near 100%? damn, i wish we had compulsory voting.

i just finished another job in a long, long line of them. i'm tired in so many ways. when i sleep tonight, maybe there will...
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falling apart again. it comes, and it goes. yesterday, i spent my day driving to michigan. i had no desire to head there, but, thanks to a poverty stricken month, i head where the work is. the drive was relatively good. i don't really like driving, but this was okay. i put in earplugs to drown out the road noise and the sound of the...
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wrap my wrists in leather to take away temptation. it's all too real. it's all too real.

everything falls apart. again.

argh.

i just wrote an entry laden with insomnia, antisocial expressions, and paranoia about dying prior to my next birthday. sadly, i got distracted by updating my profile. apparently, when you hit "save profile" before "save entry" it fucks you by deleting your journal entry.

fucking figures. another stupid occurrence.

well it is a mere few days until the birthday. luckily, if i die i'll...
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i've been thinking again. i had hoped that the paint fumes filling my office would eliminate some of that but no such luck. i'm on the cusp of contemplating creativity. i might as well contemplate a lunar landing.

would i even notice i am alive if the rollercoaster ever stopped running?

would you be creeped out if i gave you money for no reason other...
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here are some things i have been reminded of in recent weeks:

when you are young and fear growing old and having dreary responsibilities, you are completely RIGHT to have that fear.

when you are tempted to hire a contractor to do a "little" bit of work on the house, DON'T. do it yourself or prepare for a huge ordeal and an even bigger bill....
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it hasn't been the best of times. on paper, things have been going well. i haven't had to go to work at all. there is some money in the bank. most of my home projects haven't cost too much money (which is a minor miracle). i've been able to see my lovely wife. i can sleep in.

today my cell rang pretty early. i went...
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well... it's another day. i'm not certain that is entirely an improvement.

i'm home. i'm exhausted from being away for the last three months or so. since the middle of july i think my longest stretch at home has been 5 days. there was a time when i was so excited by travel. this year i was really tickled by an eleven day trip to...
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it's my birthday and some very nice people who i don't really know left me a few comments today. thank you.

to me it is a bit funny that i call them very nice people specifically because i don't know them. even though i have little faith in humanity my opinion of people generally doesn't diminish to its lowest levels until i meet them or...
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i'm restless. there is a huge lull in my work schedule. being self-employed, or, as i call it, unemployed, has some stellar advantages. one big pain in the ass is the abrupt jerking of my soul that occurs when i go from working non-stop to full stop. sometimes i cannot adapt to being home. other times i cannot adapt to being away. one might surmise...
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it's late and i have consumed way too much caffeine. i think of the years i didn't consume caffeine at all and think, "hmm, i may have been on to something." instead i am sitting at my kitchen table at 3:40am typing a bunch of bullshit to while away the time.

i have to begrudgingly admit that today at work didn't suck too bad. the...
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