Sunday Jan 11, 2004

0
You let me down again
so here I am now
in my self-created purgatory
jonesing for what I haven't got
angry that I wasted time on
glorified flesh peddling
angry that you just couldn't wait
I'm wanting so badly to drown it out
with something stronger than you or I
wanting to wash
your scent from my sheets,
thoughts of you from my mind
wishing...
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blinding3rdeye:
damn you're a little hottie love
itsalivemedia:
Uhg...MIA again, huh?......

Saturday Jan 10, 2004

0
Uhh, yeah.
So I feel like I am lost and a little out of control. People keep looking to me for guidance. It's kinda like the blind leading the blind here...
Funny how the most unexpected events/ chance meetings can have the strongest impact on your life. I didn't expect to be here. I don't quite know what I expected really. I can feel something...
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itsalivemedia:
Always good to see you and spend some time together. We simply must do it more often.

How were the Jalapeno poppers and egg roll? So random!

That's why I love Jack in the Box (but only once a year) not only do they combine "regional" foods like chinese (egg roll), American (burgers), Mexican (tacos) but they pretty much invent their own food. When I saw the "new Fajita sandwich" on a TV commercial, I just laughed. Can't wait to see the new "Pad Thai Jack with frings" special sometime soon.

Remember frings? LOVED that concept. They need to bring it back.

Ok enough randomness....talk to you soon hopefully. good luck with everything.
deadmansparty:
Things like this have a way of hitting then everything gets good. For a little while anyway. Enjoy being nuts, it's easier to embrace it then to go against the grainskull

Saturday Jan 03, 2004

0
This obscenity follows me
wherever I go
and I believe that no one will know
my dirty little secrets
but they already know
and simply chatter quietly amongst
themselves
he told them what he had
no right to tell
and he apologized not for his own,
but someone else's words...
coming to me in the dark of night
to defame and defile
extracting goodness little...
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demoivre:
...extracting goodness little by little....

Your imagery is always very cool. smile

PS--Ananael is a friend of both myself and Astrokreep23, which , by default, makes him cool. wink He's applying for the SB group, and I just wanted to vouch for him.

[Edited on Jan 09, 2004 6:46AM]
ananael:
From your journal, it looks like your favorite Boingo song might be "Private Life" too... love
Hope things run smoother for you. smile

Thursday Jan 01, 2004

0
Who is slochill and where did you go????!!!!! ARRR!!!
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adam73:
Under my bed and I'm trying to coax it out with a bit of cheese. smile
itsalivemedia:
There is a show in Feb I might go to at the Ventura Theater. But I will be in SB in late jan. regardless. Let's talk about hanging. ok?

Saturday Dec 27, 2003

0
Yes, I was very naughty this year so Santa stopped by to drop off some coal but stayed to paddle my ass (I wish...).
You know, total compatibility is an elusive thing. Our parents generation didn't really have the issue of trying to find someone they had everything in common with. They simply tried to find in eachother a provider and a housekeeper. The issues...
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itsalivemedia:
Did you see the Rev. Horton Heat tonight?

I kinda with I was with you. But you have another man. And he is absolutely, 100% more important. And it's awesome that you are with him.

Call me tho.... eeek
politrix:
...add to the confusion, a definitve lack of standardized courtship rituals.

I met a Senegalese drummer this year who wanted to marry my Ex after meeting her for about 4 hours. In his culture, people were introduced to each other from common families in the village or nearby villages, and after getting to know each other very briefly, they determined whether or not they were good people or not. If they were, then they figured they could make a good life togethr. If not, then they didn't and they just go on as usual.

Friday Dec 19, 2003

0

I want to run away again
the itch is nearly unbearable
if I cannot have what I covet
then I might as well go
I know that should this scene end
I will travel to the limits of earth
to erase these memories I have
and I'll start over
again
with only a couple of
my alligator bags
and I'll find another you.
confused
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supernovice:
Fear not, my friend - just drunken Emo scribblings... In no way reflects the real me. Well, maybe a little, I did want to puke at the time (too much Shiraz). smile

P.S.

Santa stopped by, said you were very naughty this year and got a lump of coal in your stocking.... Tisk, tisk...
disblackfeet:
Twisted? Interesting..........

Tuesday Dec 16, 2003

0
I can't keep on
thinking it's going to change
it's as though you take what
you want
and leave me with nothing
I can't ask
and
I can't speak
I can lie there and give it
and simply be happy that
you are on top of me
but really it's not enough
and we both know it
the peril lies
in the way you look...
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itsalivemedia:
Any interest in seeing Gwendolyn on Sunday:

http://www.laweekly.com/calendar/picks/scoring.php#sunday

Or going to either a hockey game or seeing The 88, Brian Jonestown massacre and Love featuring Arthur Lee with me on the 27th?

Just throwing it out there.
whip:
I was talking with some friends about some lovely wormwood recipies. I hear you're a connoisseur. Care to share thought? Email preferred, I don't want to post that sort of thing.

Monday Dec 08, 2003

0
I am so fucking lucky
that I'm driving drunk in my own head
hoping to kill the stalker that lives
there too
wanting to cut myself loose
of this murky dull web
waiting to go on to a less-evolved place
and I don't know if you can see
that you are all wrong for me
but as long as you hang around
I am too...
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blaine:
wow you're cute.

and hey I have the same bra/panty set...the red&black from Vics.

very hot.

xoxo
fu:
Nice sad words. You have no peace?

Friday Dec 05, 2003

0
I don't want to do this anymore! I get my hopes up, I really like someone and then it all breaks apart like a goddamn cookie. The anguish and yearning is bad enough to send me to a fucking cloister! Honestly, at least then I wouldn't have the temptation. Actually, that wouldn't work, I like women too. wink
Do women like me ever find someone who...
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supernovice:
"The rule of thumb is that if I don't frighten you away for whatever reason in the first two weeks, you're stuck with me until I decide that you haven't given me what I asked for."

Frightening indeed.....
johngalt:
It is not possible to not want anymore. Camille Paglia describes a certain kind of obsessive compulsive mind frame that characterizes all great artists. You've got that mind frame. I can see it in your art. I can see it in your writing. It unfortunately often extends to your life. That is your plight. You are one of the lucky ones.
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