For me depression is my inability to escape my past. Living with guilt, remorse, and resentment and the inescapable fear that goes with it. 2 months sober has left me facing my past for the first time with clear eyes and I am not at all happy with what I see. I've burnt bridges, broken hearts, and I've been a complete asshole for a long time.
But why is it that when we remember the past we always hang on to the worst of it? Not a single person can say they don't have one happy memory. And I am sure that if we get past the resentment we can all see the good we've done. It's important to remember that we are not the evil monsters we see ourselves as.
So that's my struggle this week. Remember my past, both sides of it, without dwelling on any of it. It's a lot easier said than done and I really hate it when things get oversimplified. But isn't it really that simple?
Every saint has a past every sinner has a future...