tank_ex_mortis

So I just had this long conversation with my friend about filmmaking, and thought it was interesting so I'd post it.

akirablast*****: ive been reading screenplays on the internet all day today
TANK Ex Mortis: Sweet.
akirablast45387: yeah
TANK Ex Mortis: Unproduced, or real ones?
akirablast*****: real ones
TANK Ex Mortis: Cool.
akirablast*****: like Usual Suspects
akirablast*****: and Sixth Sense
akirablast*****: the script to the Sixth Sense is so good
TANK Ex Mortis: It does have good dialogue.
akirablast*****: yeah
(long pause)
TANK Ex Mortis: I hate this... I'm bored, but I don't feel like doing anything.
akirablast*****: im writing so much cool stuff in my script
TANK Ex Mortis: Awesome.
TANK Ex Mortis: I should work on mine...
TANK Ex Mortis: But I won't. XD
akirablast*****: you should
akirablast*****: im gonna start a new Horror one
akirablast*****: the one i was writing is too abstract to start with
(it was)
TANK Ex Mortis: Agreed.
akirablast*****: zombie?
akirablast*****: ghosts?
akirablast*****: demons?
akirablast*****: demons!
akirablast*****: oooo
TANK Ex Mortis: Ghosts = lots of effects. Demons = lots of makeup and such.
TANK Ex Mortis: But demons would be totally awesome.
akirablast*****: possesion.
TANK Ex Mortis: Hrmm...
akirablast*****: so only a little makeup
TANK Ex Mortis: Like Evil Dead?
akirablast*****: instead of like red devils with horns
akirablast*****: yeah
akirablast*****: but not dead. like crazy demons
TANK Ex Mortis: Sweet.
TANK Ex Mortis: Well, only one of the possessed people in the original was dead... I think they just possessed whoever.
TANK Ex Mortis: But yeah, that sounds sweet as hell.
TANK Ex Mortis: I'll help with makeup if ya need it, that kind of stuff seems like it could be fun.
TANK Ex Mortis: I mean, obviously I'm all about helping any way I can, but I'd love to mess around with that kind of stuff.
TANK Ex Mortis: We should hit Foy's sometime to get stuff for our various movies.
(Foy's is a local Halloween store that's open year-round and has tons of make-up, props, masks, all that cool stuff)
akirablast*****: very fun.
TANK Ex Mortis: Hey, you wanna do a mockumentary or something soon? Nick just got a digital camcorder, and I wanna do something. I figure we can make it up as we go along, like with Phlegmania.
(Phlegmania was a Spinal Tap-style movie we did with another friend, and akirablast's brother directing. I played the gibberish spouting lead singer )
akirablast*****: oh yes yes yes!
TANK Ex Mortis: Cool.
TANK Ex Mortis: You busy next weekend? We could do some then.
TANK Ex Mortis: Me and Nick are never busy, but yeah.
akirablast*****: hey im free as a bird
akirablast*****: i think
TANK Ex Mortis: I'm thinking you'll be the narrator guy, and Nick could be the subject of the documentary. Or maybe have him film... Only I suck at ad-libbing.
TANK Ex Mortis: But so does he...
TANK Ex Mortis: Hmm.
TANK Ex Mortis: Ooh! It can be a documentary on a killer done by his ex-cellmate!
TANK Ex Mortis: Hee hee.
akirablast45387: kewl
TANK Ex Mortis: That way, it won't matter if Nick can't act. We'll just make him crazy!
akirablast*****: yes!
TANK Ex Mortis: Just got off the phone with him, he sounds excited.
TANK Ex Mortis: Yay!
akirablast*****: yay!
TANK Ex Mortis: Yay!
akirablast*****: yay
TANK Ex Mortis: Yeah, anyway.
TANK Ex Mortis: And it's perfect since we can film at the Vale, where there's a ton of people to interview and such!
(Nick lives in this commune-style place called the Vale)
TANK Ex Mortis: And plenty of sets!
TANK Ex Mortis: Hmm... I guess this means I'll have to think of a funny way for him to kill people...
TANK Ex Mortis: Any ideas?
akirablast*****: hmmm
akirablast*****: beats them with dildos?
TANK Ex Mortis: Nah, too "Orgazmo." XD
TANK Ex Mortis: How about bicycle tires?
TANK Ex Mortis: Wait, when's your spring break?
akirablast*****: i dunno
TANK Ex Mortis: We'll probably be able to finish it then, if we're quick.
TANK Ex Mortis: And then we can all spend countless hours in postproduction! Hooray!
TANK Ex Mortis: Or just me, whatever.
akirablast*****: yay!
akirablast*****: ok this is what i got so far
akirablast*****: Exodus

Exterior - Midwestern town - Summer

A young woman comfortably sleeps in a lounge chair on her front porch. She has a book lying on her stomach and a glass of lemonade sitting besides her on a small glass table. She shifts slightly and the book falls off her stomach. Her eyes flutter and she bends down to retrieve it. Suddenly a ghastly inhuman scream shatters the air around her. She starts and knocks over the glass of lemonade and looks around confused and a little frightened.

Woman: (As she picks up the fallen glass) Christ.

The camera follows her as she stands up and sleepily makes her way around to the back of the house.

The camera cuts to peering around the corner of the house. The woman comes into view while rubbing her eyes. She seems very irritated from being woken up. She stops after she comes around the corner and begins to speak.

akirablast*****: Woman: Joseph what in the hell are you doing. I

She trails off after she stops rubbing her eyes and sees what is before her. Her heart freezes solid and her eyes glaze over in abject terror.

The camera cuts to a figure stooped over a fallen corpse. The corpses chest cavity has been ripped open and brutally ravaged. Blood pours out onto the brick pavement. The figure stooping over it is humanoid but horribly demonic in nature. It has human clothes on but it has hideous sharp claws on its bare feet and hands. It jerks its head up to reveal two crimson burning eyes. Blood dribbles sloppily down its chin. The camera zooms in quickly up close to its face. It snarls, bearing its sharp fangs and lunges forward savagely emitting another ghastly howl. The camera zooms out swiftly as it leaps forward and slashes at the screen.

Instant Black Out

TANK Ex Mortis: No eye-coloring... Too expensive/hard.
TANK Ex Mortis: And a huge pain if you do it in postproduction.
TANK Ex Mortis: But that sounds really sweet so far.
TANK Ex Mortis: I like the camere movements a lot.
TANK Ex Mortis: *camera
akirablast*****: the eye coloring is the sweetest plumb though
TANK Ex Mortis: I know... But we couldn't do it unless it was just like one close-up.
akirablast*****: ok then that will be the one close-up
TANK Ex Mortis: That'll be tough, but doable.
akirablast*****: rad
TANK Ex Mortis: Indeed.
TANK Ex Mortis: The open chest might be tough though, we'd need a fake torso... Unless we just... Hmm...
akirablast*****: we just get some beef ribs
akirablast*****: and gore up between them
akirablast*****: and somehow attach them to the body
TANK Ex Mortis: If you had him wearing a shirt and the ribs sticking up out of it, and it's torn...
TANK Ex Mortis: That'd be most sweet.
akirablast45387: yes it would
TANK Ex Mortis: I could be the dead guy, I've got like a concave chest... XD
akirablast*****: lol ok
akirablast*****: youd have to get real messy though
TANK Ex Mortis: Meh.
TANK Ex Mortis: The only thing I wouldn't like about it is not being able to do the gore myself... Heh.
TANK Ex Mortis: Hold on, I've got some great gore recipes...
TANK Ex Mortis: It's in a .rtf.
*** TANKExMortis wants to directly connect.
*** akirablast45387 is now directly connected.
(I send the file)
TANK Ex Mortis: The blood recipe is the same they used in the first two Evil Deads, or similar.
TANK Ex Mortis: It gets really sticky and gross, but it looks perfect.
TANK Ex Mortis: 'S good times.
akirablast*****: we made some fake blood for the first scene we filmed for Brothers In Arms
akirablast*****: it was corn starch
akirablast*****: water
akirablast*****: red food coloring
akirablast*****: A1 steak sauce
akirablast*****: barbeque sauce
akirablast*****: and mollasus
TANK Ex Mortis: You said it didn't work perfectly though, right?
TANK Ex Mortis: And that's way too many ingredients, man.
akirablast*****: ok i gotta get off
akirablast*****: seeeeeeeee ya
TANK Ex Mortis: Rock on.
*** "akirablast*****" signed off at Sun Mar 21 19:57:00 2004.

Maybe you didn't find that as interesting as I did, but that's because you're poopy.