t3chmonkey

You know how sometimes when you get caught up in a conversation and you stumble across something you know you shouldn't say, but your brain won't let you push anything else out until you do?
That's what this gets to be.
I get a chance to almost say the something I shouldn't say.

Sometimes the alibi is a whole different crime unto itself.
"Where were you?"
Wrong question, buddy.
The situation is ridiculous, but the decree is clear. There is someone who I am not to be hanging out with.
And though they may just be a friend, that would mean I'm risking bronze for gold.
So what is it?

It amazes me how much of my morale fiber it takes on a daily basis just to be a good person.
One would want that to come naturally; and if they are good, to come easy. But it's not. It doesn't. That my big secret; that it's a struggle.

My ex-girlfriend once made me an award for taking a homeless guy to dinner.
I know she was kidding, but she made this construction-paper yellow star and wrote "I'm a good guy" on it in marker. She hung it around my neck with red string and just kept laughing.
It's the best award I've ever gotten.
It's all I could want to be.
But fuck, when there's that glint in their eye, the subtracting space between you, the parting of lips, it is SO hard to live up to the construction paper star.

So far, so good.