My girlfriend skipped off to Texas for the holidays and left me with *our* dog.
He's a tan-eyed goober. He wants to taste and sniff everything, Has some bizarre behavior patterns. Likes to plant to plant his ass on elevated surfaces and try to sit like a person, then he furrows his brow in such a way as to indicate that it's the most natural thing in the world and he's just a sophisticated dog who's in the know.
I'd like to think that every ounce of his strangeness comes from his daddy.
But he's also a pussy with attention issues. Whines if you're not looking at him. Reminds me of a certain significant other.
Did I just compare my girlfriend to a dog? She's going to karmatically find out and punish me for that, and not in the fun way.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Mataji, a 76 year old native of Ambaji who claims to have received a divine blessing when he was eight that allows him to substain himself without food or water, was released after 11 days of observation due to the excessive disruption that loyal followers caused the hospital. However, during his tenure there, results showed that he indeed appeared to be in abnormally good health.
When asked to comment on the phenomenon, doctors would only state that the results were interesting, but more tests were required. Marketers and Dieticians however, had stronger responses:
"Shit. How are we gonna sell this thing? Eating nothing is worse for business than eating a balanced diet. Alright, we could sell trip packages to the caves that he prays in. Yeah, that'd be huge. Make it a spa or something. We could maybe sell special prayer books. If we do this right we might be able to tie into the Christians. He worships "God" God, right? Yeah. They make a killing. We'll sell the shit out of this. I'm not worried."
(So I made the last part up. First half is true and the second half is probably true.)
He's a tan-eyed goober. He wants to taste and sniff everything, Has some bizarre behavior patterns. Likes to plant to plant his ass on elevated surfaces and try to sit like a person, then he furrows his brow in such a way as to indicate that it's the most natural thing in the world and he's just a sophisticated dog who's in the know.
I'd like to think that every ounce of his strangeness comes from his daddy.
But he's also a pussy with attention issues. Whines if you're not looking at him. Reminds me of a certain significant other.
Did I just compare my girlfriend to a dog? She's going to karmatically find out and punish me for that, and not in the fun way.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Mataji, a 76 year old native of Ambaji who claims to have received a divine blessing when he was eight that allows him to substain himself without food or water, was released after 11 days of observation due to the excessive disruption that loyal followers caused the hospital. However, during his tenure there, results showed that he indeed appeared to be in abnormally good health.
When asked to comment on the phenomenon, doctors would only state that the results were interesting, but more tests were required. Marketers and Dieticians however, had stronger responses:
"Shit. How are we gonna sell this thing? Eating nothing is worse for business than eating a balanced diet. Alright, we could sell trip packages to the caves that he prays in. Yeah, that'd be huge. Make it a spa or something. We could maybe sell special prayer books. If we do this right we might be able to tie into the Christians. He worships "God" God, right? Yeah. They make a killing. We'll sell the shit out of this. I'm not worried."
(So I made the last part up. First half is true and the second half is probably true.)
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
My dog Ozmodiar always sits on my chest. But i think he does this for the sake of having his butt on some part of my body at all times. He's..."fun" like that.
[Edited on Nov 28, 2003 7:42AM]
[Edited on Nov 28, 2003 10:11PM]
and totally it's from the simspons. you know your stuff. whee