I wanted to take a minute to say how lucky I am. I was blessed with one of the best families someone could have. I have been raised to think of others first, undying loyalty and compassion and dedication to my family. My parents have worked hard all their lives to give me the best start in life. I can never repay that. My father did his job everyday to the best of his ability. When he was stressed, he didn't get drunk and hit the kids or yell at the wife. He had his faults but by no means was he a bad father, quite the opposite. He came from a big family and did his best to continue that legacy. This is why it is hard for me to say goodbye.
On March 18th at 11:30 am, my father passed away due to complications from cancer. I would like to say that he went peacefully, that he had a chance to tell everyone goodbye, that I was strong when facing reality regarding his death. But unfortunately, it didn't happen. He developed a serious infection that caused him to go into a uremic coma, unable to speak or move. He could only mumble words and occasionally blink his eyes. There was nothing the doctors could do for him. His body had had enough of chemotherapy, enough abuse, it just wasn't worth prolonging his suffering. I was there when he died. They took the breathing mask off, injected morphine for pain and then they let us stand there over him while he faded away. I could barely watch as his breaths became less and less, watching his heart rate and resp. rate drop slowly. My mother, so strong, told him he doesn't need to fight anymore, we love you and we're going to be alright. It took 24 minutes but it felt like an eternity. He's finally at peace which does give me some comfort but I'm forever changed as a human being. Watching someone you love die can change a lot of things.
So many things, including this website, seem so trivial, unimportant when compared to the bonds we make with people we love and having those bonds broken right before your eyes. I'm sharing this story not out of pity but I wanted people to know what my journey has been for the last several months. I know soon I can start being normal again, not afraid to show emotion. You should all look to people you care about and think how can you express your feelings for them so they know, without a shred a doubt that you love them. I am now part of an unofficial club of people who lost a love one before their time. Many of you have given your regards and I still thank you so much. It means a lot to me. I need so much strength right now. On Friday, I will get to say goodbye again to my father. I know, deep in my heart, he's in a place watching me and smiling because of how proud he is of me. Someday, I will be looking down as well. I hope I can smile too.
matt
On March 18th at 11:30 am, my father passed away due to complications from cancer. I would like to say that he went peacefully, that he had a chance to tell everyone goodbye, that I was strong when facing reality regarding his death. But unfortunately, it didn't happen. He developed a serious infection that caused him to go into a uremic coma, unable to speak or move. He could only mumble words and occasionally blink his eyes. There was nothing the doctors could do for him. His body had had enough of chemotherapy, enough abuse, it just wasn't worth prolonging his suffering. I was there when he died. They took the breathing mask off, injected morphine for pain and then they let us stand there over him while he faded away. I could barely watch as his breaths became less and less, watching his heart rate and resp. rate drop slowly. My mother, so strong, told him he doesn't need to fight anymore, we love you and we're going to be alright. It took 24 minutes but it felt like an eternity. He's finally at peace which does give me some comfort but I'm forever changed as a human being. Watching someone you love die can change a lot of things.
So many things, including this website, seem so trivial, unimportant when compared to the bonds we make with people we love and having those bonds broken right before your eyes. I'm sharing this story not out of pity but I wanted people to know what my journey has been for the last several months. I know soon I can start being normal again, not afraid to show emotion. You should all look to people you care about and think how can you express your feelings for them so they know, without a shred a doubt that you love them. I am now part of an unofficial club of people who lost a love one before their time. Many of you have given your regards and I still thank you so much. It means a lot to me. I need so much strength right now. On Friday, I will get to say goodbye again to my father. I know, deep in my heart, he's in a place watching me and smiling because of how proud he is of me. Someday, I will be looking down as well. I hope I can smile too.
matt
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
It seems like you get the gift your father is giving you too, both in life and in passing. That comforts me to see.
As for the Host, I'd definitely recommend either finding someone with a projector if you watch it on DVD, or seeing it in the theater. You really gotta see the monster BIG.