sweetnepenthe

drunk nonsense powers, activate! form of: strange journal entry! GO!

this hypnotizing
voice inside is critisizing
every movement calculated
just end it
(carefully)
lost in reasons
to believe them
tell me
what i'm supposed to see...
(either way, isn't this sickening?)
coming close to suffering every breath
and still i find myself clinging to the hope
of having you
if only i knew
it's all make believe
i could spare myself the inevitable
keep telling myself
'just one more and i'll be full'
but we all know how this ends:
little girl lost in a blur
caught in some strange dream of sorts
i'd claw my way out if i weren't so infatuated with the agony.

i find myself in pieces. just the fact that i say "I" so much sickens me.





p.s. i think my next vacation will be to florida. there are quite a few people there who i would love to meet... and it's been a few years since i was there last.
<3