Oh man. I had a continual stream of stressful nightmares last night that seemed to come from nowhere. I don't even know where to start...
I had hurt my koochie somehow and was splashing huge deadly gobs of purplish blood everywhere. I got in the bathtub to try and stop the bleeding and watched the water turn red. I was on the phone w/my mom but was too dizzy from loss of blood to talk. The phone rang a few more times. I called back the last number and it was Ted. He sounded different, older.
He started talking about my interview with the CEO. He observed that it seemed as though I didn't like anybody. I thought everybody was stupid. So the problem wasn't with the CEO, it was with me. But I didn't remember an interview with a CEO. Had I lost consciousness from the loss of blood? How long had I been out? Years, apparently.
I started to cry and Ted thought it was another psycho behavioral trick on my part, claiming to have been unconscious for years. I ran around frantically to hide my dildos, toys, lubricant, weird bottles of spray on...I don't even know what. There were tons of them. In the bathroom, in the bedroom. How could I be sure I'd gotten them all? The house was such a mess that they were hard to find. I tried to cram them all in the bottom drawer of my dresser. The bleeding had almost stopped.
I stepped on a weight scale.
There was a damp, smelly towel draped over the window sill of a blue/grey tiled bathroom. Musty, damp, moldy, dark shadows.
I was on a huge ocean liner with my mom. We were somewhere outside of Portland, but there were dirty chunks of glacial ice floating in the water. The sea got rough and waves started to splash over the deck. At first it was fun but they got bigger and bigger. Juno was off leash chasing her ball. I was calling her to me, I wanted to get her below deck. But the ship tilted and her ball rolled. She chased after it just as a huge wave hit the ship and she was dragged into the sea with a passenger.
I ran to the back of the ship thinking I might be able to grab her, but could she stay afloat for that long? My lovely dog was alone in the ocean. I was stricken. Suddenly someone had her. They dropped her into my arms, totally soggy and salty. Someone had tied her feet together w/orange stockings. I started to look around and scream, but realized it wasn't important and ran below deck with her.
I saw Heather. She was frightningly skinny, almost annorexic. She was bruised everywhere, face, legs, arms. The bruises looked like they had been healing for awhile. I asked her if she was ok. She said "Yeah, I was in the hospital for a few months from a car accident." A few months! How could I have missed it! Another thing I had missed!
Ted was home but Alicia was in town. She and I were going out. The top was down on the car and I was wearing a black leather jacket. It was night. I didn't even bother to say goodbye to Ted, in fact I think I was sneaking out. I just wanted to get in the car and leave. But there were 2 little kids, a boy and a girl, who were playing around the car, kind of holding onto the car gently but preventing me from leaving.
I tried to grab the girl by her blonde hair but she ran off. I chased her into the house and caught her and her brother. Now her hair was black. I asked her "Did you grab the car?" "No." she replied. I had her and her brother by the hair so I smacked their heads together. Again I asked "Did you grab the car?" The girl started sobbing and said "Yes, yes I did it." I put my arms around both the kids and hugged them and said "Just tell me the truth. I don't think you are bad. But you have to be honest with me."
I guess the girl had been raised to be nasty and to lie about it, so being with me was hard for her. I didn't think they'd be with me for long enough to make a difference. I got back in the car w/Alicia. I had to get out of the parking lot but the brake wouldn't work, in fact it sent the car spinning. I hit every friggin car in the parking lot before the car stopped.
Goddamnit this dream just rambled on and on like this. Frustrating, endless. There was more stuff about bugs, spiders and roaches and beetles and weird fleshy leeches. Ugh. It just went on and friggin on. Maskes and killers faces with big red laughing lips.
I had hurt my koochie somehow and was splashing huge deadly gobs of purplish blood everywhere. I got in the bathtub to try and stop the bleeding and watched the water turn red. I was on the phone w/my mom but was too dizzy from loss of blood to talk. The phone rang a few more times. I called back the last number and it was Ted. He sounded different, older.
He started talking about my interview with the CEO. He observed that it seemed as though I didn't like anybody. I thought everybody was stupid. So the problem wasn't with the CEO, it was with me. But I didn't remember an interview with a CEO. Had I lost consciousness from the loss of blood? How long had I been out? Years, apparently.
I started to cry and Ted thought it was another psycho behavioral trick on my part, claiming to have been unconscious for years. I ran around frantically to hide my dildos, toys, lubricant, weird bottles of spray on...I don't even know what. There were tons of them. In the bathroom, in the bedroom. How could I be sure I'd gotten them all? The house was such a mess that they were hard to find. I tried to cram them all in the bottom drawer of my dresser. The bleeding had almost stopped.
I stepped on a weight scale.
There was a damp, smelly towel draped over the window sill of a blue/grey tiled bathroom. Musty, damp, moldy, dark shadows.
I was on a huge ocean liner with my mom. We were somewhere outside of Portland, but there were dirty chunks of glacial ice floating in the water. The sea got rough and waves started to splash over the deck. At first it was fun but they got bigger and bigger. Juno was off leash chasing her ball. I was calling her to me, I wanted to get her below deck. But the ship tilted and her ball rolled. She chased after it just as a huge wave hit the ship and she was dragged into the sea with a passenger.
I ran to the back of the ship thinking I might be able to grab her, but could she stay afloat for that long? My lovely dog was alone in the ocean. I was stricken. Suddenly someone had her. They dropped her into my arms, totally soggy and salty. Someone had tied her feet together w/orange stockings. I started to look around and scream, but realized it wasn't important and ran below deck with her.
I saw Heather. She was frightningly skinny, almost annorexic. She was bruised everywhere, face, legs, arms. The bruises looked like they had been healing for awhile. I asked her if she was ok. She said "Yeah, I was in the hospital for a few months from a car accident." A few months! How could I have missed it! Another thing I had missed!
Ted was home but Alicia was in town. She and I were going out. The top was down on the car and I was wearing a black leather jacket. It was night. I didn't even bother to say goodbye to Ted, in fact I think I was sneaking out. I just wanted to get in the car and leave. But there were 2 little kids, a boy and a girl, who were playing around the car, kind of holding onto the car gently but preventing me from leaving.
I tried to grab the girl by her blonde hair but she ran off. I chased her into the house and caught her and her brother. Now her hair was black. I asked her "Did you grab the car?" "No." she replied. I had her and her brother by the hair so I smacked their heads together. Again I asked "Did you grab the car?" The girl started sobbing and said "Yes, yes I did it." I put my arms around both the kids and hugged them and said "Just tell me the truth. I don't think you are bad. But you have to be honest with me."
I guess the girl had been raised to be nasty and to lie about it, so being with me was hard for her. I didn't think they'd be with me for long enough to make a difference. I got back in the car w/Alicia. I had to get out of the parking lot but the brake wouldn't work, in fact it sent the car spinning. I hit every friggin car in the parking lot before the car stopped.
Goddamnit this dream just rambled on and on like this. Frustrating, endless. There was more stuff about bugs, spiders and roaches and beetles and weird fleshy leeches. Ugh. It just went on and friggin on. Maskes and killers faces with big red laughing lips.