sugarc0ma5

I have a big feeling something really bad is going to happen... My day has sucked. Everything just seems to be getting worse. I don't know what is up with my girlfriend, everytime we talk she's like whatever and sounds dull and shit. It sucks. I think she just needs to get adapted to school and work again. I don't know. I'm such a fucking girl. I worry too much, and I feel like just bawling and shit. I'm really trying hard to fix things too. I'm having a huge B-B-Q at my place with a shit load of friends and food (mind you, I hate having more than like 3 people at my house). I'm being more sociable and we are having our own space. I'm just scared. I've ended up alone before, it's not fun. Once I had this band, and we were really good friends, and we had lots of friends (or so I thought I did). I had a girlfriend that I was with for like 3 years. Anyway, I'm in this band, and we go to a battle of the bands shit, and we get chosen to open up for The Foo Fighters and Poe and a bunch of other people in this concert that was supposed to happen called Rock the Boat 2000. It got canceled. It never happened. Shortly after (few months or so) we break up in bad terms. All of my friends chose. I ended up looing like I was an asshole for some reason, when all I ever did was book us shows, find us a place to practice, make our fliers, and so on and so forth. So I had no "friends", all I had was my girl at the time, which broke up with me like 3 months after that. What did I end up with??? Shit! I've recovered from that, it was like 3 years ago, but being alone is scary. I only really have like 3 good friends, which I only really get to see one of tem all the time, but he is moving up to Jacksonville in like 2 months. Then my other two good friends are just really busy all the time, not that I am not, but we make the time to get together as much as we can (which isn't much). Dah, I forgot my point for all this rambling. Hope none of you think Im some psycho. I just don't know what is wrong with her. I wish I did. Maybe I could do more than what I am doing already. Maybe I'm not doing enough. I don't know. You tell me something.